Chapter 11 - I'm a mess

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Note: Every chapter's title is a song from Ed Sheeran. I recomend you listen to the song while reading the chapter.

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I tried to call Ed but he didn’t turn back. I started to feel water on my face and I realized that I was crying. A lot.

“Sorry. Bia, I didn’t know.  I…”

“Just go away Liam.”

“Please let me…”

“GO AWAY! GET OUR OF HERE!”  I couldn’t think and I couldn’t move so I just lay down on the sofa and cried myself to sleep.

I woke up two hours later and decided to call Sara but apparently she read my thoughts ‘cause she called me first.

“Bia.”

“You know don’t you?”

“Yes. Ed called Harry. How are you?”

“I can’t feel anything. I can’t stand, I can’t…”

“Shhhh… It’s okay. I know it’s hard but it’s going to be okay.”

“It’s not Sara. It’s just not. I don’t know what is going to be but I do know that it’s not going to be okay.”

“Don’t say that. It’s not true.”

I just kept crying because I knew I couldn’t convince her. And also because maybe if I didn’t argue she would think that she convinced me. But I knew she knew me better than that.

“I’m going to get you.”

“What?”

“I’m going to jump on a plane and I am going to get you and then you are going to come here and spend some time with us here in L.A.”

“No, no way. You just got married for god’s sake. To Harry Styles none then less. You two need privacy.”

“Well we’ve had privacy for like a month. And you need me now and Harry just said he’s all for it. In fact he just bought our tickets.”

“Are you sure? I really don’t want to give you trouble.”

“You are crazy if you think you give trouble.”

“Okay, then. Okay. I’m going to pack.”

“All right. Harry says we’ll be there in the morning. Can you meet us at Heathrow? That way we don’t have to leave the airport.”

“Yes, I’ll meet you there.”

“Okay. Our flight leaves at 15 o’clock.”

“Okay. See you tomorrow.”

“Bye sweety.”

I got up and started packing. I turned on my stereo because although I love silence I knew I couldn’t take it tonight. But I forgot that a pen with my favourite songs was permanently there and that my favourite songs are mostly Ed’s and Taylor’s. So when I turned it on, what I heard was:

“I didn't mean to break your heart
I was just lonely
And everybody falls apart sometimes
I know you found another one
Won't you just hold me tonight?”

And I just thought why does this happen to me. I skipped the song and this is what I heard:

“Nice to meet you, where you been?
I could show you incredible things
Magic, madness, heaven sin
Saw you there and I thought
Oh my God, look at that face
You look like my next mistake
Love's a game, want to play?”

Now the universe is just screwing with me. I change the song again and finally I heard something that I loved and made sense.

“Who's gonna be the first one
To stop the fight?
Who's gonna be the first one
To fall asleep at night

Who's gonna be the last one
To drive away?
Who's gonna be the last one
To forget this place

We keep taking turns
Will we ever learn?

Oh, the spaces between us
Keep getting deeper
It's harder to reach her, even though I try

Spaces between us
Hold all our secrets
Leaving us speechless, and I don't know why

Who's gonna be the first to say goodbye?”

I sang that song loud while packing. I’m glad Sara invited me there. I need the heat and the palm trees and the pools. I need to get away. 

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