Reminiscence (Todoroki x Reader Hanahaki) DISCONTINUED

I Love Him...

   "Shoto Todoroki." I said, finally coming to terms with my emotions.

   Recovery Girl stared at me, pursing her lips. "I see....Well, there's not much I can do for this, but you might want to consider getting the surgery." she said. I shook my head. "I can't....I can't lose him." I mumbled. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. "Come in!" Recover Girl said in a sing-songy voice. The door cracked open and I saw the familiar turquoise and gray eyes. "Y/N...." Todoroki said softly, walking up to me and sitting down on the infirmary bed next to me. I stared into his eyes for what felt like a solid minute before he grabbed my hand. 

   "Are you okay? Are you sick? Ashido told me there was blood on your mouth..." he said, concern glittering in his eyes. Tears threatened to spill as I shook my head. "I'm fine...really. There's nothing to worry about. She was exaggerating..." I replied, forcing a smile onto my face. He stared at me for a moment. "Right....Well....I hope you feel better soon. I have to get back, but I'll see you later, 'kay?" he said. I nodded and watched as he walked out. I waited until his footsteps were gone before coughing again, blood-stained petals falling from my lips.

   Recovery Girl sighed. "Sometimes love really can kill, huh? Oh well. You should get some rest." she murmured. I laid down on the infirmary bed and slept.

(Time skipppppppp!!!!)

   School was almost over when Recovery Girl sent me back to class. On my way there, I found Uraraka walking in the hall with Midoriya. Aw...cute. I said, smiling. I walked up behind her and poked her shoulder. She turned, startled. "Gah! Oh...Y/N..It's just you..How're you feeling?" she asked. I shrugged, looking nervous. "Can I talk to you? Just a minute? Please?" I asked quietly. She glanced at Midoriya and he glanced back. Then he nodded. Uraraka turned her head back to me and smiled. "Sure, then! Let's go!" she said, grabbing my hand and pulling me outside. She led me behind some trees and I sat on the soft grass with my hands hugging my knees. She immediately noticed something was off.

   "Hey....are you sure you're okay?" she asked. I looked at her as she sat on the ground with me. "Um...." I opened my mouth to start and then, over her shoulder, I saw Todoroki and Yaoyorozu walking together, laughing and smiling. I shut my eyes tightly. Uraraka grabbed my arm and shook it. "Y/N...What's wrong? You've been acting differently ever since the end of your training match...What's going on? We're all really worried about you." she said, her voice filled with worry. 

   I chuckled and shook my head. "I can't breathe....." I started. She stared at me, her eyes gradually widening. "What?" she asked. "I don't get it.." she continued. I forced a smile and nodded my head towards Todoroki and Yaoyorozu. "It hurts, Uraraka. I can't breathe....because of him. It feels like something is stuck in my chest. Like it's trying to claw it's way out of my throat. But..." I said, explaining my situation very bluntly. She stopped me. "Hang on..Don't tell me-" 

   But I had stopped paying attention. Because when I looked over Uraraka's shoulder again, Yaoyorozu had Todoroki trapped in a tight embrace, and he was hugging her back. Something caught in my throat and I began to choke. "Y/N? Oh, not again..." she grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me gently. "Y/N!" she watched as the pink and red petals fell from my mouth, staining the grass beneath me with blood as something new happened this time. Small, prickly thorns clawed at my throat before making their way out, causing more blood to spurt out along with them. "Y/N....." Uraraka murmured softly, staring at the flowers. "You've got-"

   "Don't say it." I said, my voice weak. "Don't say it." I repeated. "I know. I don't need reminding." I told her. "Well then, what're you waiting for?! Get the surgery already!" she pleaded. I shook my head. "I'm afraid I can't do that..." I whispered. "I can't.....lose him...Uraraka....."

   "It's not worth it.." I heard her choke out, and I looked up. Tears fell down her pink cheeks and I sighed. "It's not worth it, Y/N..." she repeated. "He's not worth it, Y/N!" she said, much louder this time. "Listen to me!!" she yelled. "You can't do this to yourself!!" 

   I stood up, wiping the blood from my lips. "You don't understand...." I whispered, looking over at Todoroki. I swear I saw him look towards us. Turns out I was wrong, because he continued to walk, his arm wrapped around Yaoyorozu. "You don't understand at all.." I continued. "I brought this upon myself. And now, I have to live with it." I forced a small smile on my face and looked at her, helping her up as she wiped tears off of her face. "It's not like I could really just...forget him. That's not an option for me. What would you do? If it were you..." I asked. "Well, I wouldn't do much, really, since I don't really like Todoroki that-" I cut her off abruptly. "If it were Midoriya." I said. 

   "H-huh?!" she looked away, her face beet-red. I chuckled halfheartedly. "Exactly. It's not so easy. From your perspective, he's something you think I could just forget about.. From mine......" my voice trailed off.

   "I can't let him go." I said suddenly, staring at the sky solemnly. "Um...why not? It'd be so easy...and then you could be happy.." Uraraka replied, her eyes welling up with tears again. "Because.."

   "I love him."