Diary Of Feelings

10 Years Later

You crossed my mind a few months ago.. I tried to go back to the very beggining of who I am right now.. I tried to find what triggered this "me"..

You crossed my mind as I recalled the first time I met you, your name and my eyes eagerly searching for it in the chat member list, scrolling a few times just to make sure I didn't miss it.

Sending a regular message instead of a private one by a mistake and you mocking me for being a noob.. talking in hushed tones so my family wouldn't scold me.. staying up awake until sunrise talking while you correct my grammar and expand my knowledge of english..

Like you knew I'd need it to survive the years ahead of me.. and I miss to this day your "xx" at the end of every message.. coming home from school, it was your name in my chatbox that made me smile and forget everything that went wrong with that day..

I remember we promised each other we'll meet one day and spend a holiday there, I couldn't wait to finish school and get a job so I could pay for my ticket..

And then our ways just kind of parted.. with no goodbye nor notice.. we just forgot.. I stopped coming to that site, I turned to something else and left our friendship behind and so did you..

I revisited that site for the sake of good old times, as they say "the killer always comes back to the scene of the crime".. and I found your account. Tho I saw you were last online a few years ago I though maybe he'll revisit too like I did. So I wrote you a message, a simple one asking you if you wanted to reconnect and talk sometimes.

But it was only days after that I started thinking and realized you maybe failed in this life, maybe something bad happened to you, maybe you're a totally different person...

I tried to send you an e-mail too but it wouldn't go through.. So I went on about my life and would revisit that site every few weeks just to check up.

Last time I checked I thought to myself why do I even bother.. there's no way you'd come here.. but then I went in today just for a second to reasure myself one last time there's no way you'll come back..

And above my inbox sign was a number of my messages... it said "1" .. I was stunned.. speachless, this feeling came over me.. the same one that used to almost 10 years ago..

I opened it, kept reading it several times not beliving this moment.. I wonder what you look like today old friend.. I wonder are you still living in that same country and wear the same style..

It was so good to know you're still here, that you're just as real as you were back then... it's good to know that the creator of cyber me made it as well.   xx