Painting

Chapter 33

-What are you afraid of?

-I don't know, darkness and maybe I'm claustrophobic. I'm not sure.

-I know why you left your parents.

-You do.

-Why do you still go see them?

-It hurts, but I want them to see that I'm happy and they didn't break me. Also, They want to know how our company is doing. They paid for it, so...

-At least. Do they ask you for money?

-No, they don't.

I put my head on his shoulder.

He holds on to my hand tighter.

-I didn't want to scare you away.

-Scare me? Did you see my ex-boyfriend? I thought I scared you away.

-You thought so?

-Yes!

He makes me face him and wraps his arms around my waist.

-You don't want to run away, then?

-No, I want to be here with you and Tyler.

-Even with how messed up we are?

-Yes.

-You're a strange person, you know that?

-Of course, you wouldn't find me interesting if I wasn't. You need to step out of line or else, how are you going to live experiences worth living.

-True.

Someone has tell me that I need to find happiness within myself. For a long time, I thought, finding happiness meant blending myself in the world, be like everybody else. Find a job somewhere, have a partner, have a nice place to stay. Some of these things are true. I have a job and a nice place to stay. One day, I found out, that was a very old-fashioned way to think. Do I need all of that? These past few weeks, made me question it. Am I happy? How do I know if I am happy?

Some people put themselves in a constant rush, so they don't have to think about it. Some people need a spiritual guide to tell them when to be happy. That's how some of them end up in a sect. Other people are searching, I consider myself a part of the third category. In which category does Victor considers himself in? Tyler is probably a part of the first category. Always in the rush of productivity. I guess I'm not here to judge.

He kisses my nose.

-I think I know what you are.

-What am I?

-A goddess.

-A goddess? I'm far from that.

-No, no listen, I think you fell from the sky, you just don't remember it. You bring the best in people.

-Do I?

-Some of them don't have the best intentions in mind, but we're here to protect you.

If there is one deity here. It's him. He's kind and caring. He's got arms that could hold the entire sky for eternity, for the people he loves. Eyes, I could stare at all day.

A goddess. That's a strong word. He's got such a fire in his eyes. He is being sincere. What could he possibly see in me? I'm not perfect. Are gods perfect, though? Some of them did let a lot of things slip between their fingers.

I roll my eyes and smile.

-What, would I be the goddess of?

-I have to find out.

We walk toward the lake.

-What does that make you?

-What?

-If I'm a goddess, what does that make you?

-I guess, if I get the chance to spend more time with you, I'll become a god myself, because you will bring out, the best of me.