Painting

Chapter 46

Victor has been gone for an hour. He left me three poetry books to read while he is away. Tyler is still reading his space book. He is giving me furtive glances. Now, he is adding smirks to his glances.

-What is it?

-What happened yesterday?

-Yesterday?

-Yes, yesterday, I saw you going into Victor's room for the night.

-We... Um...

-Don't worry, I get it.

He goes back to reading his book and without even looking up, he says:

-I kind, of wanted to join you guys, though.

I get up and without him noticing, I walk in front of him. I lower his book. Tyler seems surprised. He drops gently his book on the table next to us. I sit on his lap and I grab his shirt. I don't believe what I'm about to do, but I do it anyway. I firmly press my lips against his. He wraps his arms around me and slide his fingers in my hair.

I stop and he looks at me. My lips begin to tremble.

-Are you okay?

-I don't know what's happening. I feel bad.

-Bad?

My voice breaks.

-Like I'm nothing. I'm not worth it. I'm a waste of oxygen. I want to disappear.

He takes me in his arms and proceeds to carry me upstairs. We go into my room. He takes the covers and wraps them around us like a burrito. I wrap my arms around him. He kisses the top of my head.

-You're alright, I'm here.

-I have problems.

-Everyone has their own. I have a big one, I need to take care of. You know what it is.

-I'm sorry.

-Don't be, that's how life works, but you know what?

I look up at him.

-I'm glad, I met you, you give me the strength to take care of it.

He takes one piece of my hair and looks at me in the eyes.

-Look at you...

I look down, but he takes my chin.

-You radiate with energy. You know what Alan W. Watts said?

-No, what did he say?

-We know that from time to time, there arise among human beings, people who seem to exude love as naturally as the sun gives out heat. That quote was probably made for you. You are full of those beautiful things. Love, energy and light. You are a masterpiece.

-I'm not perfect.

-Masterpieces aren't perfect, but they light up the room.