Painting

Chapter 36

(1 month before real break-up)

-I need to go out.

-Again? But you just did.

-I need to go get some clothes.

-You don't have to wear clothes.

I roll my eyes.

-We don't live in your fantasies, in real life, we have to wear clothes. People could see, I know you don't like when other people can see me.

-No one will see you.

I sigh. When I am going to get out of here, if he lets me go out, maybe I should just escape to my new apartment. He doesn't know where it is.

He will find me. He always does.

-If you really have to go out, I'm coming with you.

Teddy is looking at me with his left eyebrow lift up.

Forget it, I can't escape. Not now.

-Okay...

-Okay, what?

-I won't wear my clothes, can I borrow some of yours?

-Yes, you can. Do you still want me to run you a bath?

-Yes, please.

He walks to the bathroom. I hear the water running. I take my shirt off and my pants, slowly. I walk to the bathroom, in my underwear. Teddy walks out of the bathroom. He used my favorite soap in the water. I dip my feet in. It's warm. Then the rest of my body. Until, I'm soaked. I sit there for a while. Let my mind wander.

I put my head under the water. I could stay here. It's nice, warm and quiet. A smile lights up my face. I open up my eyes. It's blurry. I open my mouth and start to laugh silently. Is it what the lack of oxygen to the brain does? The urge to be happy in your last moments.

I take my head out and take a deep breath. Now is not your time, June. I know that.

I get out of the bath tub. Wrap a towel around me. Blow dry my hair. I walk out and Teddy left a black t-shirt on the bed. The first one he ever lent me. I put it on and smell it. It's not like the first time. It's still as soft as it was, though. 

-You look good.

I turn around.

-Just like the first time. Come here.

He opens his arms and pulls me close. He kisses the top of my head.

-I love you so much, I would do anything for you. Anything.

-I know.