Painting

Chapter 19

I take my clothes off and get under the covers. I think about the evening. I can't help but smile.

I feel euphoric.

I blushed so much yesterday, I thought my cheeks were going to explode.

I thought my face was going to burst in flames. I felt so warm.

I'm high in the clouds. Flying with the birds.

Then I just float there. I settle down. On my bed.

I fall asleep peacefully.

I wake up with that light sensation.

Everything is alright.

Again I blast some music. I sing very loud and bad.

Fuck the neighbors.

I'm happy. I'm having fun. I feel like everyone should know it.

I've been hiding and scared for too long.

If Teddy finds me, then I'll look at him in the eyes and say he should go...

I'm not going to say it, I'll leave that to my own imagination.

Maybe I won't even have to.

Perhaps he did understand when I told him to leave me alone. I doubt that, but you never know. I mean he is not that stupid. He's actually pretty smart, unfortunately. Or he knew me well. Probably both. He knew what I was going to do, even before I did it. He planned everything, all the time. Making sure to make me smile or most of the time, play with my mind.

Keeping me on the edge, every living hour.

I'll stop thinking about him, though. I shouldn't, anyway. I'm suppose to be happy.

And I should get it moving, or I'll be late. I'm walking around my apartment and I should already be on my way. I guess breakfast can wait.