Painting

Chapter 35

I always think of my life as something that goes on forever. If I have something to do, I'll put it off until tomorrow. I do this, with almost everything. My homework, back in school. People, I need to reply to. Talking to my parents. Shaving. Doing laundry. All of those things that should be a part of an almost daily routine. What I like to do the most, is look out of my window. I remember, back when I was in school. I would do it, until it was way past the bed time that I had established myself. I never get tired of it. There is always something interesting outside the window. When it's not leaves changing colors during fall, it's the flowers growing back during spring. When it's not the sunset, it's the stars. The void of space and pierced by tiny dots of light.

Does the light of my room, can be seen in space? Do the astronauts in the ISS can see that June, 20 years old, is still looking out her window, trying to solve the mysteries of the universe? Probably not. Should she get back to sleep? Probably. Does she wants to? Absolutely not. Well, not until she gets answers to her questions. During those moments she feels alone, but she realizes that life does not go on forever. You can't spend a life time trying to solve the mystery of life itself. To solve it, you actually have to live it. Does it make sense? Probably not, but I'm still trying to come to an understatement. Big questions never scared or intimidated me, so how come two pairs of eyes can do it?

I wonder if my answer is right there in the eyes of two people, I've known for only a couple of weeks. Maybe it's impossible to discover the secrets of the universe alone, because right now, the universe I want to live in is right there. Composed of two open-minded people, with eyes full of the same curiosity that makes me thrive.

We are going to build our own space ship and discover those secrets ourselves. Build it with memories. So we never forget ourselves on the way. I guess the stars are watching us, waiting for us. To take us back where we first existed, as stardust.

Victor gets closer to my ear.

-You're stunning.

-Thanks.

I scratch the back of my head and look at the ground. Tyler lifts my chin up.

-You're not intimidated, are you?

I feel the blood coming up to my face.

-I'm just not used to get that much attention.

-Does it make you uncomfortable? If it does we can get back to making dinner.

-We can get back to making dinner.

-Sure, we're making pancakes, I hope you don't mind.

-I don't, I love breakfast, I could eat pancakes all the time. I could put cheese in it, with maple syrup.

-Good idea.

I walk toward the dinning room. It's already almost dark. This hits me each year. I never get use to it. Winter is coming and I don't think I'm ready, but maybe this year, I'll have something or someone to warm myself up. I smile to this idea. I don't see Victor coming close and sliding his arms around my waist.

-Is the goddess ready to eat?

I roll my eyes and smile.

-Yes, but don't call me that.

-Why not?

-Because, I'm not a goddess.

-Yes, you are, you just don't remember. I'll make you see it someday.

-I don't want to crush your hopes, but I don't think anyone could ever make me think I'm better than I am.

-What do you think you are?

-A girl searching for answers.

-That's already something. I search for answers too.

-To which questions?

-My place in the world. What I'm suppose to do and which toppings I'm going to put in my pancake. Heavy duty philosophy, as you can see.

-Are you hungry?

-Considerably.

-Let's go eat, then.

I try to leave his arms, but he just tightens his grip.

-What are you doing? I'm hungry too.

-I won't let you go until you agree with me.

-Agree with what?

-The fact that you are a goddess.

-It won't be sincere, you know that, right?

-I know.

-Well, I agree.

-Agree to what?

-Agree to the fact that I'm a goddess.

He loosens his grip and he smiles.

-See? I think you already feel better about yourself.

-If you say so.

I sit down in front of my plate. This time none of them forgot to bring the maple syrup to the table. Cheese, brown sugar and cherries, that should be a great mix.