Recovery 2 Justin Bieber (Sequel to Recovery)

48.Chapter Is this a competition?

YOUR POV

The house was full of people wearing black clothes. The atmosphere was quiet and depressed. The urn in which the ashes of my brother was, stood on the mantelpiece. All were talking quietly while I was sitting on the couch with Johanna and gave her a new handkerchief. Justin came up short, handed us each a glass of water and went back into the kitchen. The ceremony was very moving, Johanna, Ciccio and I have held speeches. The priest knew exactly what he had to say. Justin sang a farewell to Giovanni.

“I miss him.” Muttered Jo in her handkerchief and put her head on my shoulder. We stared at the urn, without a word. I didn’t say that I miss him, she knew it, everyone knew it. Fortunately, most people had left soon after dinner. Ciccio immediately drove to the restaurant, so that only Johanna, Justin and I were in the house. Justin took off his jacket and sat down on the couch next to us.

“How are you?” He asked, closed his eyes and rested his head on a pillow that lay behind him.

“We are doing okay.” I assured him and took his hand in mine. I intertwined our fingers, as he squeezed my hand slightly. Johanna sat up, snorts her nose and stood up.

“I'll go to sleep. I'm tired.” She said softly. I asked her if she is sure and if I should go with her, but she assured me that she's okay and wants to be alone. It was still light outside but I could understand that she wanted to sleep. There she could be with Giovanni, in her dreams he was still alive.

“Maybe she should also see a psychologist. I'm worried about her.” Justin said, after we were sure that she can’t hear us.

“We should give her time. If it doesn’t get better in a few weeks, we can talk to her.” I said, touched by the fact that Justin is worried. “Justin you need to remember yourself. You're there for me all the time, you are here for everybody but you. How do you feel, Jay?”

“I'm fine, I guess.” He muttered and looked over at me. He had dark circles under his eyes was pale and exhausted. Concern filled my face.

“Baby, you are destroying yourself for me. I can’t sit her and watch you going down.” I muttered as I went closer to him and looked him in the eyes. 

“You exaggerate, boo. I’m okay.” So rare he showed weakness, although he didn‘t have to act in front of me. How can I get to him? He studied my face, then looked at our hands, he kissed my hand and pulled me close to him. “Please don’t worry.”

“How can you say it just like that? When did you sleep well the last time? When did you looked in the mirror, Jay? You look really depleted, baby.” I whispered against his lips and stroked with my free hand over his cheek. Still he looks stunning. But I can’t watch while he is neglected himself, just because of me. He sighed wearily and rolled his eyes.

“What should I do?” He asked, he was insecure, helpless and overwhelmed and he finally admitted it.

“Think of yourself. Please, go to the studio, lie down, do something with your boys. Whatever makes you happy, do it. I wanna see you smile again.” I whispered. His mouth rose up slightly but didn’t meet his eyes.

“I love you baby.” He whispered, before I had a chance to respond, I felt his lips on mine.

***********

The months just flew past us. Justin was in the studio with Dean around the clock, but he kept his promise, I haven’t seen this asshole ever. I have worked less to spend time with Johanna. Johanna worked in Ciccio’s restaurant. She took care of the accounting and management matters. Previously Giovanni took care of that, Ciccio couldn’t handle all that so he was happy to have Johanna. Marissa and Jo got along well, and I was almost every day for lunch there with them.