PARTNERS IN CRIME - JAKE PERALTA

Dress Code Civil War

"No surprises from the coroner. A few gunshots, shoulder and chest." 

After a tedious session of 'door duty', the squad was now gathered back in the bullpen. Amy was beyond glad, Valerie was one of her favourite people to spend time with, however she was also one of the worst people when it came to indulging Jake's antics, stirring the pot for what she called 'funsies'. 

"None of the neighbors heard or saw anything. And what's worse, Santiago struck out with a ninety-two-year-old." 

Upon hearing Jake's remark, Amy looked offendedly over at her colleague before quickly turning to reassure the captain, "That is not accurate, Sir."

Jake let out an overdramatic gasp, hand placed over his chest as if he were an old woman clutching at her pearls, "Wait, you hooked up with him?" 

Before Amy had a chance to object Valerie cut in, glancing briefly down at her notepad, "We were planning on checking the local shops that could be selling the Jamon Iberico, one of the items stolen-"

"Jamon Iberico." Charles corrected, much to the rest's confusion as their pronunciation sounded near identical.

"That's what I said, Jamon Iberico."

"Jamon Iberico-" Charles cut in once more.

"That's what I said!" 

"Not quite-"

Holt's voice projected above the rest, cutting off the debate, "All right, hit the pawn shops and canvass the neighborhood. And while you're out you can buy yourself a tie." 

Jake was quick to jump to his feet, holding the hem of his shirt, "Oh, actually, Sir... I'm wearing a tie right now." He finished by pulling the fabric upwards to reveal a tie wrapped haphazardly around his middle. 

Holt's stoic expression didn't falter, his silence prompting Jake to continue, both in his speech and the hole he was digging. "Check it out. Secret tie."

"First of all, I think you're overdoing it with the manscaping-"

"Manscaping?" Valerie questioned aloud, making a mental note to adopt the unfamiliar word into her vocabulary.

"But more importantly, Detective, why do you refuse to take my orders seriously? Does anyone her know why this is so important to me? That you all dress appropriately?" Holt glanced round at the group, his gaze hard as silence filled the room. He let out a short hum, "Five highly trained detectives and not one of you can solve this simple mystery. I want to be briefed on any new developments. Any questions?" 

Jake, unsurprisingly, was the first and only detective to raise his hand, evidently feeling uncomfortable in such a tense environment. "I was going to ask you if you thought I was doing too much manscaping but we solved that one so I'm good."

With a brief nod the Captain returned to his office.

It had been agreed among Jake, Boyle and herself that time was of the essence and she would catch up with the other two after updating the casefile back at the precinct. She had received a typo-riddled text from Jake ten minutes prior to her arrival, informing her of the market they would meet her at. 

Valerie made sure to double-check she had locked her car before approaching the shop. As she did so a loud crash sounded from inside, Valerie's hand landing on her holster as she peered through the door window. She'd like to say she was surprised to see Jake being tossed across the shop but his natural affinity for getting in harm's way was no secret, it was a familiar scene, as it was for Valerie to come to his rescue.