Eternal Blitz

5. Impending Dinner

Pictured above - Blane

𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐳𝐞

Something about her draws me in. Like a moth to a flame, some unknown force attracts me to her, and I can't stop it.

This is the first time in over a year I've hung out with anyone other than my brother. I've always been the shy kid, kept to myself, and never had many friends besides the few people who would speak one word to me and call it a day. It suited me and I was comfortable.

It was always easier to just be alone. I'd rather stay at home than go out with friends. Social situations increased my already heightened anxiety and to this day nothing has changed. If anything, it's only worsened as time goes on.

I do my best to keep interactions to a minimum and other than the club I've never had a problem until now. Not until her.

Blitz.

The name flashes in my head and I repeat it back whispering it to myself, familiarizing myself with the way it drips off my tongue. It suits her perfectly. She has attacked me, ruining everything I have ever known, trying to break through my walls and I don't like it. My walls are protection and right now she is the enemy.

I was going out of my mind when Blane called for me to go and talk to her. I might have been confident in the moment but deep down I was barely keeping myself together. It shocked me how easy it was to listen to her, talk to her, even with my fucking stutter. I hate it but for some reason, she likes this me. The real me.

Although I don't have as hard a time forming sentences around her as I usually do, when her friends came in yesterday, I was internally cursing trying to calm myself down. I felt bad that I didn't respond, not because I didn't want to, but because I was scared. Scared of saying the wrong thing or messing up. It's a pain in the ass but it's gotten better over the years and with Blitz, it's almost as if she makes it better.

"You coming tonight?" Blane questions stepping into the living room.

"Do I really have a choice?" I ask already knowing the answer. "I don't even see why we have to go, it's not like we know these people."

Blane takes a seat beside me on the couch propping his feet up on the coffee table. "No." He says crossing his arms. "But mom and dad did. They lost someone on the flight too, so the least we could do is be there tonight."

I huff running a hand through my hair already dreading this dinner and it hasn't even begun yet. "I'll go, but don't expect me to be happy about it." Blane chuckles already knowing this. "I'd rather grieve in peace not over dinner with strangers."

"I know. So how did it go yesterday?"

"Eventful." It's the only word I could think of to describe the events that took place yesterday.

I take him through the sequence of events that led to me being in bed with Blitz. The coffee shop, the bar, the infamous fight over a girl I barely even know, and finally, the aftermath. Once we had finally gotten settled and the movie started, I was able to loosen up and allow her to get comfortable on top of me. I must admit it was nice being needed but also odd as I had only known her for no more than a few hours.

I'm not exactly sure what she wants from me, but I honestly don't think it's all about sex. I can tell you now I'm not the most experienced guy as I have only been with one girl during my entire twenty-one years of life and that was four years ago. Since then my hand has been doing just fine.

"Damn, so do you like her?" The curiosity has peaked in Blane as he listened to me speak.

"I mean yeah but I'm not sure how she feels or how I feel really." Honestly, I think I'm more confused than her on this. My head is a storm of thoughts currently and won't shut down for the life of me.

"I'd say that kiss you two shared at the club said all that needed to be said." 

At his mention of the club, I'm immediately taken back to that night. The kiss, the first kiss I've had in years, and I'm still surprised by it even now, days later. "I don't know, she's never had a serious relationship, and hell, neither have I but from what she's told me sex is all she wants."

"Some girls are like guys; fuck everyone until you find the right one." Blane says bluntly.

"So, a female version of you." I state finding huge similarities in the way he described it.

He nods in response, smirking at me. "Now you're getting it."

I can't help but roll my eyes at him. If there is one thing Blane is it's a man whore. He's not ashamed of it and if it makes him happy then go for it but it's times like these, I wish I had someone more reliable to ask for advice. "You are no help."

Blane waves me off clicking his tongue at me. "Whatever man, now go get ready we leave when I check to see what time it starts."

I laugh at his incompetence to ever have this stuff figured out before it's time for us to leave.

Making my way to my room I knock the closet door open looking for something to wear. What do people wear to these things? If I could I'd just go in sweats and a t-shirt but we are celebrating life so I highly doubt they would appreciate my wanting to be comfortable.

Some see it as a celebration of life, but I see it as a remembrance of death. A reminder of what I've lost for an entire twenty-four dreadful hours. Haunting me with the memories of that day. A play-by-play with every minuscule detail down to the ring of the phone call that changed our lives.

Finally, after much deliberation, I decide on black jeans, a white t-shirt, and a leather jacket. Hopefully, my outfit can make up what I lack in every other aspect of my being.

"You ready yet?"

I snap the collar of my jacket and grab my phone nodding at Blane. "No, but let's hope I am before I get there."

"That's the spirit." He responds by slapping me on the shoulder and pushing me out of the door. "All you have to do is look pretty and nod, and you already have one of those things down."

It's pretty much my reliance on every social situation I'm involved in. Nodding and agreeing can get you a long way in life but it can only do so much during times like these.

"If only mom and dad could see me now."

"I'm sure they would be happy to see you interacting with a bunch of strangers. Maybe there will be a hot girl there to take your mind off things." The look on Blane's face tells me that statement was more for himself rather than me but I'm sure he is right. 

"You mean to take your mind off things. I'm sure you will have the poor girl stubbed before the nights even over." I laugh knowing if anyone could do it Blane would be the man.

"You're damn right I will."