Eternal Blitz

13. It's Okay...

𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐳𝐞

I wake up surrounded by warmth. The sweet scent of vanilla invades my senses relaxing my mind. It wraps me in a blanket of calmness sating my craving for it.

Movement above startles me and I still my body releasing the heavy grip I have on the weight above. My eyes fly open scanning the scene and as I see a body, I jump from the bed shoving my way to the floor tangled in the sheets. A grunt escapes as I slip from the edge and my chest grows heavy as I hear movement coming from the other side of the bed.

"What the fuck." I hear whispered across the room.

I draw in a breath and push the covers off tripping over my feet as I stand. The voice rolls through the air again and it's the only voice I've been able to hear the past few days. I can't say why or what it is about her voice that encompasses me, but it seems to have crawled its way into my head and stuck it out through my pain.

My mind reels back to reality. Her voice in dreams is different but as I hear it now it's different. This isn't a dream and I'm confused as to why she's here. I'm scared of being seen, of judgment, and that only furthers my wish for her to have never come because I never wanted anyone to see me like this.

I hate this part of me, I hate showing this part of who I am because it's bad enough that I have to deal with it but getting others involved makes me feel like more of a burden than I already am. I don't want to be viewed as weak because I can't deal with my emotions or because I feel like I'm not good enough. I have a hard enough time being open in general so putting myself out there fully scares me to no end.

"Blaze?" I look up to see Blitz on the bed staring at me.

I back away from the bed watching as Blitz crawls closer to the edge. "Why...why are you here?"

"For you." She puts out her hands and I stand still allowing her to come closer. "I'm here for you."

"I'm fine." I whisper knowing lying is easier than owning up to it.

Blitz nods finally making it to the edge sitting right in front of me. "It's okay to not be okay. You don't always have to act strong." She reaches for my hand and I lean away regrettably as her face falls into a frown.

It hurts me to see her like this, but I don't need to be taken care of. I don't know why she would even care anyways.

Sighing I look away and cross my arms ready to crawl back in bed and be left with my sorrows as Blitz speaks. "People who are fine don't lock themselves in their room for days on end. They don't cry themselves to sleep at night and they don't push their family away when they need them the most because they are scared. You're not fine and that's okay. I won't push you to talk to me, but I want to be here for you if you will let me. "

As her eyes meet mine all I can see shining through is sincerity. The truth behind her eyes is blinding and unlike most, it isn't pity she's filled with, but hope. She sees me, the real me, and even with all my faults, she likes that me.

It's hard to believe that someone like her could like me when I can't even find it in me to like myself. "Why?" Her face falls at my question.

Blitz sighs taking a seat next to me. I look down as her small hand takes ahold of mine intertwining our fingers. Her delicate hand fits perfectly into mine, every curve and crease perfectly aligned causing a flutter of confusion to pass through me.

"I like you, Blaze." My eyes widen at her revelation and this time as she goes to touch me, I stay still letting her. "A lot more than I care to admit but I want you to know what you mean to me. I've never done this before, whatever this is." She says gesturing between us. "But I want to be there."