Eternal Blitz

12. Blaze Duty

𝐁𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐳

"What are you doing here?" I question finding Blane on the other side of the door looking disheveled.

Blane was the last person I had expected to see but as he stands in front of me, I can't ignore the feelings circuiting that something is wrong.

"I need your help." His voice wavers and his body lays propped on the wall. I nod softly and pull him to the couch setting him to the right of me.

His bloodshot eyes stare blankly at the walls no doubt the aftereffects of crying. His hair out of sorts similar to when Blaze runs his fingers through his hair one too many times. His chest heaving as he catches his breath and all I can do is sit and wait.

Slowly, he begins to settle gathering his thoughts. The expressions on his face are all chaotic as he struggles to speak up and much to my dismay, I can't help but comfort him.

I slip my hand over his giving a reassuring squeeze receiving a forced smile in return.

"After we came home Monday." Blane begins pulling in a few deep breaths. "Blaze was different. I thought it was just his way of grieving, needing time alone to adjust again so I let him be, but it's been two days and I can't even get him to talk to me. I hear him through the walls despite his best effort to cover it up. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't go through this again, I won't lose him, not again." Blane pleads.

"Have you tried talking to him?" As I hear myself ask the question I feel like an idiot. Of course, he has he just said that.

I scold myself internally and turn my attention back to Blane. "He won't talk to me. I text him a few times a day just to make sure he knows I'm there if he needs me, but I get nothing back. I don't know what to do anymore Blitz." Blane sighs heavily brushing through his hair. "When he got like this my parents always knew how to handle it. I'm not good at comforting people, hell I can barely keep myself together. The only confirmation I get that he's okay is the empty plate he leaves outside of his door whenever I feed him. It's the only thing I can do right."

His body begins to shake and the passing of a sob escapes. On cue, my arms wrap around him and he falls into me. I can't imagine how hard this must be for him. It's not that he doesn't want to help but he's lost on how to. It's clear to anyone how much he loves Blaze and he's trying his best but sometimes it's just not enough. Adding to an already difficult situation the only people who were ever able to help are no longer.

Seeing Blane in this state is hard to watch. His usual hard outer shell is cracked and I'm trying my hardest to reign in my emotions as well. He doesn't need me adding to an already emotion-driven situation. Much like Blane my emotions are locked away in the deepest space imaginable and pulling those would be like opening a flood gate.

Pulling Blane down, his head falls to my shoulder and I know right now all that he needs is reassurance. "You're not useless. He knows you love him and that in no way makes you a failure to him or your parents. He may not talk to you, but those texts are just as meaningful to him because it reminds him how much you love him."

I lift Blane's chin making sure that he's paying attention to every word I'm saying. "Your parents would be so proud of you. They know this isn't easy and it may never get easier, but they left knowing he would always be taken care of. They left knowing you were ready to take on this battle even if you didn't know it yourself." I kiss the top of his head and wipe the remaining tears.

All he can manage is a nod along with a forced smile. His eyes are dead, blank but I'll take what he gives. I know how hard this can be as I've dealt with it firsthand when Kelsey died.