"So please stay with me?"
Yoongi seemed to be begging at this point. He was so desperate. He really needed someone to be with him and comfort him. He hadn't had someone like that in a long time. His only friend is gone and he can't "burden" Yongchan with his problems or struggles. Yoongi just wants to fix himself and not have to put anyone through the trouble of caring for him. He feels like he doesn't deserve it. He feels selfish when he asks for anything but Jimin told him that he was not. He wants to believe what Jimin said but he can't without feeling guilty.
YOONGI POV:
Ugh! I am so stupid. I need to stop asking for help. I feel guilty for asking Jimin to stay again after he wanted to leave. I should tell him to go. I am probably pissing him off with how much I change my mind. He probably hates me. I know I would if I were him. I am gonna tell Yongchan to take him home. No more changing my mind. I need to stop burdening people. I am sending him home and that is my final decision.
I look up and see Jimin smiling. Why is he smiling? What is there to be happy about? Why does he care? I don't deserve it. Why does Jimin being here make me feel better and worse at the same time? Why can't my head shut up and let me be happy? Ugh! I need to put on a mask to stay focused. I need to send Jimin away. I am making his life more difficult just by being in it. I need to help him by staying away from him. I look into Jimin's eyes. I need to sound confident when I say this or he will be able to see right through my mask.
"Ignore what I just said Jimin. I want you to go home. You don't need to be here. I will tell Yongchan to take you home." I looked away after. Looking at him will just make me want him to stay more. I need to push him away. I need to. I need to. I need to.
"Yoongi, I am so confused. You just asked me to stay with you and now you are pushing me away. Why? I thought you wanted me to stay. I may not need to be here but I want to be here for you...why won't you let me help you...why won't you let me care?"
I could hear the genuine hurt in Jimin's voice and it made me feel so guilty. Why do I keep hurting people? Why can't I do anything right? Why am I the way that I am? I can't answer Jimin's questions because I don't truly know the answers myself. I need to push him away. Yongchan just needs to take him home before I hurt him more.
"Yongchan," I yell. "Jimin needs to go home. Please come and take him."
"Yoongi, I don't want to leave. I am gonna stay."
"No, Jimin. Go home."
YOU ARE READING
Why Me?-YOONMIN
FanfictionHe is depressed and has a pretty horrible life. He was about to end it all when someone saved him and now will not leave his side. All he can ask is "why me?". [warning: lot of struggles with mental health and talks of suicide}
