Don't Die - Levi x Reader {Book 1}

Chapter 11

Levi nodded curtly as he used his free hand to pull at some grass. He felt vulnerable for the first time in years and he was having a hard time processing it. This girl that he had known for less than three days had managed to get him to confess feelings for her with just the slightest nudge. And he had done it so willingly. He was nearly disgusted with himself. This kind of behavior was unacceptable for him and yet, he couldn't seem to find the motivation to stop.

"Any more questions?" (Y/N) glanced at him from underneath her eyelashes.

"Yes, actually."

(Y/N) was a bit surprised by Levi's response. She'd thought that their conversation had already reached its peak. There wasn't really anything they could discuss that would be quite as exhilarating.

"Why did you join the Scouts?"

(Y/N) blinked at his question and took a moment before answering. She wracked her brain for an elegant way of stating her answer before simply blurting out her thoughts. "I did it to be free." (Y/N) laughed at her own answer before continuing her explanation. Her eyes shifted across the ground as she felt her mood darken to match the words she was about to speak. "My childhood was not what you would call ideal and so, when I was twelve, I ran away to join the military." (Y/N) shook her head. "I don't know why I thought that strict schedules and drill sergeants equated to freedom but I had nowhere else to go and I knew that I would be a good soldier." Levi eyed her but remained silent as (Y/N) continued. "After joining, it didn't take me long to decide what regiment I wanted to join. I became obsessed with the outside. The idea of going beyond the walls became all-consuming. I'd lived a confined life, even more so than most, and all I wanted to do was see an open horizon, one with no wall to block my view."

(Y/N) peeked up at Levi and a blush rose to her cheeks. She realized that her words were foolish, obviously those of a daydreaming child. She quickly continued, hoping to escape judgment. "And while the concept of freedom is what led me to join the Scouts, it is no longer why I stay with the Scouts." (Y/N) paused again, trying to put her thoughts into words. "Now I'm here because I have to be."

Levi furrowed his brows. "You mean you have a contract or some shit?"

(Y/N) released a small laugh and the sound echoed off the trees around them. "No, no. Nothing like that... You see, this regiment, as odd as it sounds, is my family. I have no blood relations and outside of these headquarters, there is no one within the walls who gives a damn about my happiness."

Levi shifted uncomfortably. "So you stay for him. You stay for Erwin." Levi could feel fire boiling in his chest, but it wasn't the kind of fire that passed between him and (Y/N). This fire was darker, more potent. It wasn't anger or fury, it seeped and emanated from his core. Was it jealousy?

(Y/N) stared at him unapologetically. "Yes."

The air stiffened and it took Levi's full strength not to immediately snatch his hand away from (Y/N)'s lap.

"I would give my life for him."

Her comment put Levi over the edge and he pulled his hand away as the fire in his chest roared. But before he could get away entirely, (Y/N) snatched his wrist and held him still with surprising force.

(Y/N)'s features were cold and hard, all traces of the smile she had held just moments before had disappeared. Levi felt the fire of envy burn even hotter in his chest and he gritted his teeth as he stared back at her.

"One day, I suspect that I will tell you everything about me. But right now, I am not ready." Levi's eyes flared and glinted in the light. He didn't know how to react to her sudden intensity. "All you need to know right now is that Erwin is essential to my survival. To me he is a friend, a brother, and a parent all wrapped into one. I can tell you with confidence that if it weren't for him, I wouldn't be sitting here today."