The following day. I decided to have lunch in the diner nearby my office para narin hindi sayang oras ko bat sa malayo pa ako kakain e okay naman dito. Sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon. I saw jayson with some other girl. Malapit lang ang table nila sa akin. Hindi ako nagpahalata at nataman na nakamasid sa kanila. They look sweet, they we're kissing and stuff like a couple would do. Biglang sumiklab ang galit sa puso ko. He did it again. Gusto kong lapitan at basagin ang pagmumukha nito. Bakit niya ginagawa to? Paano na si audrey? Napakawalang kwenta talaga nito!
Imbes na sugurin siya ay mas pinili ko nalang umalis at puntahan si audrey. Kailangan niyang malaman ito. O baka naman alam na niya kaya siguro umiiyak yun kahapon. Bakit parati na lang niyang sinasaktan ang taong mahal na mahal ko. If audrey will choose me, I'll do everything to make her happy.
I saw audrey walking out the building. Mabilis na lumapit ako sa kanya. "Audrey."
"Not now forest I'm in hurry." Nilagpasan niya lang ako.
"Audrey, we need to talk." Giit ko. Habang patuloy na nakasunod sa kanya.
"Nagmamadali nga ako." Seryosong sagot niya. "Step aside, forest may importanteng meeting akong dapat puntahan."
I don't get her but i just realised na were in the parking lot at nakaharang ako sa pinto ng sasakyan niya.
"It's about jayson,"
"I don't have time for this, forest, tabi!" Naiinis na sabi niya.
"I saw him with someone." Pagpapatuloy ko. Nakita ko naman na napahinto ito. It's my cue to continue. "I think... i think he's cheating on you."
Audrey kept her face straight. Hindi ko matukoy ang emosiyon nito. Is she mad or... i don't know i can't read her mind.
"Tabi." She said with authority.
"Aren't you gonna say something about it? Hahayaan mo nalang ba na paulit ulit na pinagtataksilan ka niya?!" Hindi ko mapigilang hindi mag taas ng boses. Bakit ganun? Ok lang ba sa kanya na ganun boyfriend niya?
"What do you want me to say? Huh forest!" She raised her voice. She even look mad. For what?
Napatigil ako. Ano nga dapat sasabihin niya? Ayaw ko lang naman na sinasaktan siya ng lalaking yun. Alam kong mahal niya ito, wala na akong magagawa dun. Kaya lang mas nasasaktan ako tuwing umiiyak si audrey dahil sa kanya. I don't want her to get hurt kasi mas double yung sakit para sakin. I love her so damn much.
"Leave him." This took all my courage just to say this word.
"What?!" Gulat na bulaslas nito.
I look at her hopefully. "Leave him and be with me."
"Forest--"
I interrupt her words. "tell him that you already found someone that's gonna treat you right."
"What are you saying, forest?"
"Why won't you give us a chance?" I asked still hopeful.
"We already talk about this long time ago forest."
"What about happened in our getaway. Wala lang ba sayo yun?" I saw her look down. "Audrey please, give me a chance." I slowly take her hands pero agad niya din namang binawi. I paused and take a deep sigh before kneeling down in front of her. It's now or never.
"Audrey please marry me." That's not a question. I'm begging her to marry me. Kahit may mga taong napaparaan wala akong pake. I know they think so lowly of me now, but i don't care.
"Stand up!" Matigas na utos nito.
"Audrey--"
"Don't embarrass your self, forest."
"Aud--"
"Just SHUT UP!"
Before i could open my mouth she already start talking again. "Stop it, forest. What happened there is nothing to me, stop giving yourself a hope kasi masaktan ka lang. And i don't want to marry you. Now please give way kasi may meeting pa akong pupuntahan."
Hindi ko na halos narinig ito. Parang nabingi ako sa sinabi niya. I don't know what to feel anymore. I just saw her car driving away. Isa isa namang nag sink in ang mga sinabi niya. Konting salita lang yun pero napakasikit. Rejection and so much hurt starting to spread in my whole body. Dapat naman sanay na akong nirereject niya pero ngayon sobrang iba ang sakit.
I don't even know how i managed to get home. Staring blankly at the ceiling when i heard my stomach growl. Hindi ako nakapag lunch kanina tapos i haven't eat dinner. I take a glanced at my wristwatch. It's already midnight but i can't sleep. I'm so clouded with many thoughts. There's a bunch of 'why's' running through my mind.
And also i received a lot of messages and calls from karrie but i ignore it instead i turned off my phone. I don't wanna talk about it right now.
Nahagip naman ng mata ko ang larawan namin ni audrey na masaya kami, kuha ito noong graduation namin sa college. Bigla namang pumasok sa isipan ko ang nangyari kanina. Biglang nanikip ang dibdib ko sa sakit at nag sisimulang magluha ang aking mata. Simula pa kanina pinigilan ko ng maiyak. Hanggang sa hindi ko na napigilan na bumuhos ang emosiyong kanina ko pa pinipigilan. I cried my lungs out.
Loving her is a battle. Battle that i know i can't win. Battle that i know it will leave me hurt and broken. Matagal ko ding pinaglaban ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya na dapat matagal ko ng hininto. Nakakapagod din lumaban na mag isa.
I'm loving her for almost my life but i think i need to put an end to this madness..
The end..
Charot.
