Audrey Pov
Silently crying while hugging myself in the couch. I've been in that position since more than an hour now. I've messed up. I know.
Things are slowly getting into right places with me and forest. Until that incident happened a week ago. If things didn't get complicated i would've said yes to her.
I admit that i also had feelings for her. Even before i know it's always been there, but i always keep it unknown. After nung getaway namin, forest become busy, and me obviously avoiding her. Naging confused ulit ako sa nararamdaman ko sa kanya. I also got scared, what if pag nasa relationship na kaming dalawa and then things got messy. I'm pretty sure kasunod nun ay break up. I don't want that to happen ayokong mawala siya sakin. Mas mabuting pang we stay what we are right now kasi walang break up ang friendship.
Hindi naman kami nagkabalikan ng ex ko. I purposely kissed him, i want to know the difference. I want to feel kung andun ba yung sparks and butterflies in my stomach, just like when forest kissed for the first time. Forest wasn't my first kiss, but she's definitely the best. When i kissed my ex i felt nothing, unfortunately that's the thing that forest saw. I saw hurt in her eyes and I'm feeling guilty about it. Hanggang kailan ko siya masasaktan.
Another week has passed forest and i haven't talk yet. I badly want to see her. Paglabas ko ng building, nakita ko ang taong gustong gusto kong makita. There's a smile that rose from my lips, is she here because of me?. When i thought she came here to see me, I was sadly mistaken coz it seems like she was about to leave. At hindi lang siya ang andun she's with someone i doesn't even know, I am watching them from afar. I gasp escaped from my lips as soon as their lips connected to each other. I feel mad, hurt and cheated. My chest tighten and tears start to falling down my face. I turned away from them. I hate you Forest! I hate you for this!
"Aud, sandali lang!" Rinig kong sigaw ni forest sa likuran ko. Mas binilisan ko ang pag lalakad. I don't want her to see me being vulnerable like this.
"Audrey wait." I can hear her footsteps just right behind me. Mas lalong binilasan ko ang paglalakad at hindi ito pinansin. Medyo nagulat pa ako nung nahawakan niya ako sa balikat. Huminto ako pero nakayuko lang. I don't want her to see me crying.
"Okay ka lang ba?" She asked worriedly.
"Yeah." I simple answered back.
"Audrey?" I slapped her hand when she's trying to reach my face.
"I..i gotta go." I don't like my voice shake when i said that. Gusto ko ng makaalis. Their kissing scene suddenly flash in my mind when forest reach my arms.
"Let me go!" I hissed. Kita ko ang pagkagulat sa mukha nito. Parang may tumutusok naman sa puso ko. I can't even control my tears. I really hate this feeling.
"Audrey saglit lang--" Again, she's trying to reach me but i can't let her. "I said let go!" I almost shouted at nag mamadaling makaalis dun.
Kinabukasan. I saw forest walking towards me.
"Audrey." She called. I'm still mad at her. "Not now forest I'm in hurry." Nilagpasan ko lang ito.
"Audrey, we need to talk." Sabi nito habang nakasunod sa akin.
"Nagmamadali nga ako." I said with my serious voice. "Step aside, forest may importanteng meeting akong dapat puntahan."
Kahit nasa parking lot na kami naka sunod parin ito sa akin.
"It's about jayson," Sabi niya. Napairap naman ako. I don't care about that jerk anymore.
"I don't have time for this, forest, tabi!" Naiiratang saad ko. Ayoko na muna siyang kausapin.
"I saw him with someone." She continued. Somehow it made me stop for a bit, why does she care! "I think... i think he's cheating on you." She finished her sentence. So what? Anong gusto niya gawin ko? Kahit noon namang kami pa marami na yung babae hindi ako magugulat kong nakita man ito ni forest kong saan na may kasamang iba.
"Tabi." I said with authority. Nakukulitan na ako sakanya.
"Aren't you gonna say something about it? Hahayaan mo nalang ba na paulit ulit na pinagtataksilan ka niya?!" Forest raised her voice. Why is she mad?! Akala ko ba dapat ako ang galit dito. At wala na naman kami nung jerk na yun.
Forest kissing that bitch suddenly flashed in my mind. Damn! I'm still not over it.
"What do you want me to say? Huh forest!" Hindi ko mapigilan na hindi rin magtaas ng boses. Napatigil naman ito sandali.
"Leave him."
"What?!" Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya.
"Leave him and be with me."
"Forest--" I don't know what to say. My heart is pounding rapildy.
"tell him that you already found someone that's gonna treat you right."
"What are you saying, forest?" I still shocked by her words halos di na ata pumapasok sa utak ko.
"Why won't you give us a chance?" Chance? I realised what she's talking about. Bakit hindi ko siya bigyan ng chance. Napaisip ako, but one thing that came into my mind is forest kissing someone. again.
Bakit hindi yun maalis alis sa utak ko! Bwesit!
"We already talk about this long time ago forest."
"What about happened in our getaway. Wala lang ba sayo yun? Audrey please, give me a chance." She slowly take my hands but i yanked it. I saw her take a deep sigh and then kneel in front of me. I frozed.
"Audrey please marry me." Her voice is begging and i hate it.
"Stand up!"
"Audrey--"
"Don't embarrass your self, forest." I said. Nakikita ko yung ibang mga tao na nakitingin sa amin. Kaya ko na ba? Kaya ko na bang harapin ang mundo? Ang panghuhusga ng ibang tao? I don't know.
"Aud--"
"Just SHUT UP!" I shouted. It's the only way to stop her. I don't think I'm ready to face the world, forest. I'm sorry.
"Stop it, forest. What happened there is nothing to me, stop giving yourself a hope kasi masaktan ka lang. And i don't want to marry you. Now please give way kasi may meeting pa akong pupuntahan." I didn't let her talk. I'm sorry, i had to.
Mabilis kong pinasibad ang sasakyan. I don't really have a meeting to catch. Umuwi ako sa bahay at dun na ako naiyak. As much as i hate her kissing that bitch. I also hate seeing her cry because of me. I didn't know if i made the right decision, but right now I'm staring to regret it.
Unedited.
