"i'm sorry"// daniel seavey

part nine

daniel: the view is definitely pretty
alex: dani-

i get cut off by everyone coming over to us

brian: alright love birds we wanna listen to music so turn it up
alex: you go turn it up why do i have to do it
brian: bruh you're so annoying
alex: you are go turn it up
brian: shut up i'm going

coincidentally the song that was playing was a why don't we song

the boys all look at me

alex: what ??

they all laugh

what's even funnier is that a bunch of their songs kept playing right after each other

obviously we were all singing along and obviously i knew all the lyrics

daniel: so you know all the lyrics to all do my songs? wow you really love me
alex: of course i do. this literally feels like a dream. i've been a limelight since the beginning. i should know every lyric or that would just be upsetting.
daniel: i have a fan?!?
alex: stop acting stupid with your big head ass
daniel: a cute big head ass
alex: you sure bout that??
daniel: don't act like you don't think i'm cute
alex: i don't
daniel: oh yeah ?
alex: that was hot
daniel: what ?
alex: hm nothing
daniel: sureee

he smiles at me with that pretty smile of his and i just die inside

more songs start playing and we're all just dancing and basically having our own little party

everyone warmed up to each other so we were all just having the time of our lives

more hyped songs come on and that keeps getting us moving. i have my phone in me so i take a video with flash on of course of us jumping and screaming. having a blast. i save the video and i caption it "wow" and post it on my private story.

wow this is really happening. i'm really having a small ass party with why don't we. with my favorite. and i just met them. like i always talked about how ill she be meet them but this is way better than a concert. IM FRIENDS WITH THEM LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. how is this possible?? again all i have to say is wow.

brian noticed that i was thinking hard about something and he took me aside from the group so we can talk and they wouldn't hear us

brian: are you okay alex?
alex: yeah i'm fine i was just thinking
brian: about what?
alex: how did this even happen? like how did my dream come true?
brian: well just be happy it did but i know something else is in the back of your mind
alex: how am i not feeling scared or sad when i'm up here? in the spot? like last time i was here i stayed here crying for hours.
brian: well there was always sad n scary memories here and having us come here and fill it with nice and happy memories made you change the way you felt about this place even if it's just for today.
alex: yeah but what if i come here and i just cry again?
brian: then that's totally fine. but having the people you love and always will love will change that. it's gonna happen over time. you just have to trust the very long process but at the end you will come up here and forget what happened and it won't be in your mind. but you have to have a good mindset for that to happen. you can just have a negative energy every time you come up here because then the process would be even longer and it'll be harder on you.
alex: yeah but what if i can't stop thinking about what happened and i'll just be stuck with it my whole life?
brian: the sad truth is that you'll always be stuck with that thought about what happened. but it's up to you to make that thought the smallest thing and to push it all the way back in your mind. it's up to you. we're just here to help. but it's up to you. we're here to comfort you when your mind is still thinking about it.

i don't say anything. tears are threatening to spill from my eyes n down my cheeks. i hug brian tightly. so tight. i whisper "thank you". then all the tears came down at once. brian just hugged me tighter. we soon let go

brian: i'll always be here for you no matter what. now calm yourself down before you go back.
alex: okay

brian leaves and goes back to the group. my tears keep coming down. worse now because i can't hug brian even tho he's like 30 feet away from me. i don't want em to see me cry. we just met them. my tears aren't stopping and i feel like they won't. i hear footsteps coming towards me. i figured it was mariah but i felt 2 very strong arms snake in between my arms and hug me from behind.

imagine having a small party with the boys 😩