Be with Me

Kabanata 26

Lalaine's POV

"Hindi kayo mag-uusap." Naramdaman ko ang kamay sa braso ko. "Let's go." Nagpatangay ako sa paghila sa kanya.

"Ba't hindi ka nagrereply? Ba't di mo ko pinapansin? May ginawa ba ko ha? Hinaras ba kita? May nasabi ba 'ko kahapon? Nasaktan ba kita? " Pina-ulanan ko
siya ng tanong nang makapasok kami sa kotse niya.

Nakita kong biglang pumungay ang mata niya at tsaka unti-unting tumingin sa 'kin. He smiled bitterly and shook his head and turned his gaze on the road. He started the engine of his car.

He was focused on the way. We were in silent until his phone rangs.

Inihinto niya ang kotse sa gilid ng daan. He unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the door as he went out placing his phone on his ear.

Madilim na ng mga oras na 'yon. Bilog ang buwan at ang liwanag nito'y sumasakop sa paligid.

I saw him frustrated looking up while massaging his head. His jaw moved agressively and let a heavy sighs several times. I wonder what's the phone call all about.

I bit my lower lip pretending not to saw anything as he enter the car. He sighed as he start the engine. I was in silent as he.

The car stopped infront of our street but I don't feel like going home, I can feel that he needs a friend at this moment.

"Bye, take care." He's waiting for me to leave the car smiling, a fake smile.

"I don't want to."

"Bumaba ka na."

"Hindi ako bababa, sasamahan kita." Nakita ko pa ang pagbuntong hininga niya at tsaka pinaandar ang kotse.

I was staring at him. I feel like he was trying to hold his tears.

Tinext ko si mama para sabihing may problema si Tri, nag-aalala rin siya. Sinabihan niya kong papuntahin ko sa bahay pero sinabi ko na nakalagpas na kami. Ibinaba ko na ang cellphone ko nang makapasok kami sa elevator.

Pinindot ko ang palapag kung saan kami pupunta.

Tri wasn't talking. Inilagay niya ang kamay sa bewang at ang isa'y pinapaikot-ikot sa hintuturo ang susi ng sasakyan habang nakatingala. Hindi na lang ako nagsatila at nag-antay bumukas ang pinto.

I opened the door for him and entered his unit. I unties my shoes and place it on the shoe rock, he did the same thing.

"Do you want to eat?" I look at him as I opened the refregirator.

"No, I'm okay. You can cook if you want." He sat on the couch focused on his phone while tapping it.

I don't know what to do, I can't ask him, I might sound insensitive. He doesn't want to talk. I'll wait for him to.

I sat on the couch next to him.

I saw him put down his cellphone and lick his lower lip. I look at him. I waited him to talk but he remain in silent.

Anong problema niya? Nag-aalala na ko. Pinaglalaruan niya lang ang mga daliri niya. Hindi siya mapakali.

After a minute, tumayo siya at pumuntang pumasok sa kwarto, sandali lang at lumabas na rin siya daladala ang twalya.

"Ligo lang ako saglit," I nodded.

Napatayo ako at nagpaikot-ikot sa sala, iniisip kung anong problema niya.

Dahil kaya sa daddy niya? Anong nangyari?

Lumabas siya ng banyo na tuwalya lang ang tumatakip sa ibabang bahagi niya. Ang itaas ay hubad. Nanlaki ang mata ko at napatitig sa kabuoan niya.

He's masculinity isn't that simple.

Nagulat siya at dali-daling pumasok sa kwarto niya, nakalimutan niya atang may babae sa sala niya. Natawa ako sa naisip ko.

His abs looks firm.

I shook my head from what I thought.

We went out of the room wearing black pleated shorts paired with maroon shirt. He also wears his watch on his right arms, as usual.

He went on the kitchen to get something from the refrigerator. It was the tin cans of beer we baught yesterday night.

"Tara, samahan mo ko sa taas." He pointed the door and look at me. I nodded and followed him.

We both sat on the bench on the edge of the rooftop. He put the tin cans of beer between us.

The rooftop was at peace. It was in silent. The solemnity of the night were concurrent on what we feel. The mood was sad but then the moon still glows.

I heard him sigh and open one can. Pinapanood ko lang siya.

Bakit ang lungkot? Bakit ka malungkot? Hindi ka dapat ganyan, ikaw si Trino. Hindi ka dapat malungkot.

"What if someday mawala ako?" He breaks the silent as he opened the can and immediately drink it.

I positioned myself, he was staring the moon. "What do you mean?"

"Paano kung isang araw mawala ako?"

"Bakit ka naman mawawala?"

"Bakit hindi ako mawawala?"

"Hindi kita maintindihan, Tri." I'm confused.

"Wala namang nakakaintindi sa 'kin." He looks at me. My heart pounded. It sounded wrong.

"No, thats's not what I meant," I shook my head.

"What's your problem?" I saw him bit his lower lip and look back to the moon. Tumingala rin ako.

"Parehas pa rin naman tayo ng buwan na tinitingnan hindi ba?"

Bakit niya ba tinatanong ang mga bagay na ito? Naguguluhan ako.

"Ano gagawin mo kung mawala man ako?" He repeated his question earlier.

"Hahanapin kita, kasi ikaw lang ang kaibigan ko." I look at him and he look back at me. He smiled at me bitterly and nodded. Ibinaba niya ang tingin niya at tsaka lumagok ng beer, nang naubos ito'y binuksan niya ulit ang isa't lumagok.

Ngayon ko lang napansin ang mahabang peklat sa palapulsuhan niya. Laslas?

Kinagat ko ang ibabang labi ko sa gulat at tsaka ako napababa ng tingin. Napakurap-kurap pa ako at ibinalik ang tingin roon, totoo nga, laslas. Pero bakit?

"Naalala mo ba yung sinabi mo sa 'kin kahapon na nabuhay tayo para hanapin ang purpose natin? Hanapin mo kung ano yung 'yo. Huwag kang titigil hanggat hindi mo nahahanap." Positibo at nakangiti kong sinabi habang pinagmamasdan ang buwan.

"Nahanap ko na," I look at him and I saw him smiling looking at the sky. "Nabuhay ako para protektahan ka."

"No," I shook my head. "Nabuhay ka para hanapin ang purpose mo, at ang purpose mo ay sumaya."

He nodded and look at me. "Masaya ako kapag pinoprotektahan kita."

Hindi lahat ng pagkakataon ay kailangan ko ang protektang binibigay mo. Gusto 'yan sabihin sa kanya but i chose to smile.

We were in silent for a moment..

"Tri, alam mo kung paano maging masaya?" I look at him and he looks tipsy now.

"How?"

"Piliin mo yung sarili mo." Hindi ko alam kung naiintindihan niya pa yung sinasabi ko.

"Lalaine, I'm happy with you at ikaw lang ang pipiliin ko."