Chapter 36

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"So, which school do we do a report on?" Daun asked, fingers hovering over the keyboard of his silver laptop. There were a stack of papers and brochures next to it, each being an introduction of the schools they'd been to.

Cahaya stared at the pen in his hand, clearly spacing out. Daun kicked his leg under the table, which brought him back to planet Earth.

"What?" Cahaya demanded, putting the pen back to his bag.

"You weren't listening." Daun glared at him.

Cahaya sighed and shrugged. "Sorry, got a lot on my mind," he drawled, sitting upright on the chair.

Lazily, he went through the stack of papers on the table, where various school names were printed on the very top of each document. He scanned through each one, barely remembering some of them, until he stopped at the final one, that only had one piece of paper.

Rintis High.

Daun glanced at him, concern plastered on his face. He leaned over to see the paper and frowned at his choice.

"Rintis High? You serious?"

Cahaya jumped in his skin, quickly shoving the paper back into the pile. "Of course not!" he lied, picking up another stack. "Just thinking about how absurd it is for a school to give us only one piece of document for referral."

Daun's frown didn't waver, but he turned back to his laptop.

Around them, other students discussed amongst themselves as they picked out a school that they'd visited. They were all organized and elite; nothing like the rough air that Rintis High have. The class was white and modern, while Petir's class was worn down and traditional.

It was night and day.

"Maybe we can do this another day?" Cahaya suggested, putting the papers down. "I mean, it's not like-"

He stopped himself, only realizing that he no longer sat next to Petir. That seat was now occupied by Daun, who'd come over to talk about their report.

When Daun wasn't there, it was just an empty seat.

How was Petir doing?

"Another day, you say?" Daun closed his laptop, sighing in disappointment. "Did the akumas rattle you so badly? Do you need time to recover?"

Cahaya held his hands up in defence. "No! I'm fine," he lied through his teeth. "We just been to so many schools, that's all. I also got a lot of teachers fired for their illegal behaviour."

Daun looked at him oddly but didn't elaborate. He rose from his chair and carried his laptop out, never once looking back at him.

Cahaya should be worried about Petir, but he can't help but also be bamboozled by Daun's sudden change in attitude. Before Rintis, he was bubbly and patient. But now, he couldn't even stand Cahaya's presence for five minutes.

Should he be concerned?

During the night, Cahaya couldn't sleep. He didn't even try to. Instead, he threw on a random jacket and turned to his kwami, who was sitting on his table. Neither of them had the tendency to have a regular schedule like everyone else.

"Solar, Sunrise."

He opened his window and flew into the air, heading full speed towards the hospital.

When he arrived, he took a few minutes to look for Petir's room. A child, in a room few floors above Petir's saw him and shouted for his attention, which he returned with a wave and a smile. How sad, for such someone of a young age to suffer from an illness.

Through the window, he could see a darkened room, and a bed next to the window itself. There was a teen lying on the bed, motionless but awake. He could tell by the light reflecting in his eyes.

Cahaya tapped on the glass, catching Petir's attention.

Petir turned, eyes widening, but there was no emotion to it. He brought himself up, using his good limbs to help him. Even so, it was slow, and painful.

He unlocked the window, which Cahaya pushed open and landed inside. He didn't detransform because it would be better to explain if he was caught.

Cahaya pulled down his hood, kneeling by Petir's bedside.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, voice soft.

Petir didn't turn to him. Dread prickled in Cahaya's stomach, telling him something is very, very wrong.

"I can't use them like before." Petir's voice was hollow. Much emptier than he'd ever heard him be. It wasn't difficult to understand what he meant; the bandages on him were sufficient evidence.

It was like he gave up on life. Nothing would matter to him. He was numb to the world as it was cruel to him.

Cahaya wondered how it felt to be so defeated, so empty. All he felt was rage, furious at the person that would pride himself as a hero. A hero that the public aspires to be, committing a murder behind the scenes.

How can someone be so heartless? How can someone be targeted by the world?

Everyone around him was changing too fast for his liking. He was the wielder of the Owl Miraculous, where information was his forte. Information changes, information was fluid. But he didn't want to handle change. He wanted everyone around him to be the way they were before.

But life didn't work that way, and he can only watch it unfold.

Cahaya put his hand on Petir's. They were cold. "I promise I'll do everything I can to help."

"Don't." Petir turned to him, giving him a sad smile. "It's all over for me. Save your energy."

"Don't say that," Cahaya begged, squeezing his hand. "Please. I won't give up on you, so please don't give up on yourself."

Petir laughed; a broken laugh that sounded shattered. "The great Cahaya saying please?" he joked hoarsely, bitter and broken. "Guess world's really ending."

He didn't promise him, though.

Cahaya could feel his heart breaking, smashing into a million shards. He began to feel tiredness creeping in, exhaustion finally settling down after days of worry and grief.

"Take time for yourself, Cahaya," Petir said, voice windy and croaky. "Stop worrying about me. I'll be fine."

Cahaya wanted to believe that, but the threat of Minte's motives haunted him, hanging over his shoulders.

"I'll be fine," Petir repeated.

He sounded like he was trying to convince himself instead of Cahaya.

As he left, he was careful to close the windows. Though in the sky, where the windows were the same as walls, he could see the small flicker of light reflecting on glass.

I'll be fine.

How can he say that when none of them are?

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