Your father was a revolutionist in a country of loyalists.
You were his daughter who had the same beliefs.
Living in Britain as a revolutionary was easy as long as they didn't tell anyone. Alone you, your father and mother lived in a small cottage i...
"Happy birthday Frederick!" I smiled and ran to Frederick walking him up. "Wha-?" he mumbled. "Your three today!" I smiled and hugged him. His eyes lit up and he smiled, "Yay! I'm a big kid now!" he jumped up pumping his fist in the air. "Guess what! Were gonna have a birthday party tonight and Aunty Ella and Uncle Samuel are invited!" I smiled. "Is William coming to mommy?" he asked. "Yep!" I replied.
Frederick jumped out of his ned and started rejoicing. I smiled and followed him to the kitchen. "So what does my birthday boy want for breakfast?" I smiled and ruffled his hair. "Pancakes!" he smiled. I laughed, "Ok I'm on it." Frederick then turned to his sister, "Hear that Matilda, were going to have pancakes!" Matilda smiled and they both excitedly awaited.
I smiled and lit the stove, and started to pour the batter onto the pan. "So Frederick what would you like for your birthday?" I smiled. Frederick smiled, "Mommy I want daddy to come here." I nervously spoke, "Frederick you know daddy's going to be gone for a while." I explained.
Frederick banged his fists against the table, "Mommy I don't care, it's my birthday and I want daddy!" beads of water started to fall out his eyes and he began to cry, "It's not fair Mommy! William gets to see his daddy everyday!" Frederick sobbed. I moved towards Frederick and hugged him, "Come on Frederick it's ok, I can get you something else." I comforted him. But Frederick didn't calm down, instead he began hitting me, "I hate you Mommy! I want daddy, he's way better!" he cried.
Anger filled me and I burst out as well, "Frederick, your dad isn't coming home beacuse he's-" I breathed in reluctantly, "He's dead!" I yelled at Frederick.
Frederick's eyes widened in fear, "What do you mean Mommy?" his innocent eyes looked up at me. I couldn't control myself, "He's dead Frederick, he's never coming back!" I yelled and knelt down on the floor. "No he isn't mommy! Your lying!" he cried, I then heard his little feet storm of.
I buried my face in my hands and gasped for air as I sobbed. Matilda hopped down from her chair and knelt down and hugged me. I cherish her hug and continued sobbing. Matilda was unfased and instead of being full of sorrow she just hugged me. I regretted what I said to Frederick but I couldn't take back my words.
~Later that day~
It had been a few hours since the incident and I walked up to Frederick's room. I arrived at his door and knocked, "Frederick." I asked. I heard a sob, "Frederick can mommy come in please." I spoke. "Ok." Frederick sniffed. I opened the door and saw Frederick curled up on his bed. I walked uo to his ned and sat on the end. "I'm sorry for yelling at you Frederick." I apologised, holding in mu tears.
Frederick inched towards me and rested his head onto my lap, "Is it true Mommy? Is daddy really dead?" he mumbled. I looked down at him in sorrow. I didn't know what to say, if I said yes I'd break his heart but if I said no I'd give him false hope that George would return. I sighed and brushed away his h/c locks from his face.
"I'm sorry Frederick but daddy-" I hesitated for a second. "Daddy died." a tear rolled down my face and Frederick looked at me sadly, "I'm sorry for hurting your feelings mommy." he spoke. I looked down at him and hugged him. "Your a smart boy Frederick." I smiled. Frederick hugged me and smiled, "Mommy, I don't want a party anymore."
I looked at him surprised, "Really? But I thought you were looking forward to it?" I replied. Frederick sat back down on his bed. "You already have a lot to deal with mommy, I don't want you to be sad." he hugged me. I smiled amd hugged him back, "Your father would be proud of you Frederick." I smiled.
"Now, come on let's eat. Your sister helped me make a cake for you." I tickled Frederick. He giggled, "Yay!" he sprung uo from the bed and ran out from the room. I laughed and stood up. I then noticed a piece of scrunched up paper. I reached for it an unfurled it.
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I smiled at it and folded it placing it into my pocket, I sighed and walked to the kitchen. Matilda and Frederick were giggling and I saw the half eaten cake on the table.
I laughed and sat next to them, "Oh no! I wonder what happened to the cake?" I said surprised. Frederick and Matilda giggled, "We don't know..." they both innocently smiled. I laughed and took a piece of the cake, "Well it looks like I'll have to have it all then." I teased them. "Wait mommy don't!" Frederick worriedly exclaimed. I laughed, "Just kidding." and shared my plate with them. They both dug into the slice and we finished it.
We continued eating cake and giggling until it was night. By now Frederick, Matilda and I had eaten all the cake. We were all tired and we went to my bedroom. The room ws only lit buy a single candle and the warm orange glow filled the room. I held my children close ti me and they both began to drift asleep.
I smiled looking down at them and hummed slightly to them. The melody from my childhood filled my brain with memories and I continued to sing. Reflecting on all the things I've done I wondered, what the future held. I hugged Frederick and Matilda tightly and smiled looking to the moon.
America was our home now, they would grow up here and learn here. They'd find love hear and have children of there own here. I smiled nad looked down at myself.
I was satisfied, and I didn't need George's love.
I had two people who needed and loved me. I was a mother, not a lover. I would do whatever I could to make sure they had the best life, I was here for them.
My eyes stared softly into the glow of the candles flame and embraced the warmth. The candle flickered and the warm light faded into dark.
