King George x reader - An Uncommon Game - Hamilton

Chapter 55 ~ And They're Gone

2nd of May 1782

~Ella's pov~

Wood cut through the pristine waters nearing the French shore. My eyes follow the front of the boat to see the sight of the coast in the distance. Behind me was Samuel and William who were also gawking at the view. Never in my lifetime did I except to go to France, though of course everything that had happened to me a in yhe past six years was unexpected.

I glared out and tried to make sense of all the vibrant colours that were scattered across the shoreline. "It's beautiful isn't it?" A voice spoke behind us. I looked to see Francis staring out at the shore with us, "We'll be there soon, it's been a while." he stared out at the horizon. I turned and smiled at Samuel as the boat continued along.

Soon the boat docked, and the wounded filed out of the boat. Samuel and I snuck into the line and walked out onto the streets. People were smiling and the smell of fresh food littered the air. I smiled and Capitan Phillip walked behind us. We turned and faced him, "So I guess you too we'll be needing to go take this and head to Calais." He smiled handing us a few papers and money. "Sir this is a lot of money, are you sure?" Samuel asked. Francis smiled and Leon walked over next to him, "It's fine I've got plenty of money to spare. Besides It's for someone's sake." He laughed. I smiled at Francis and Leon laughed. "See you three one day, you really kept me company." He smiled and handed us a box. "If any of you ever find yourself in trouble you can always call on me." Leon explained. I smiled and grabbed the faded box.

"You guys be careful ok, and tell my friend I said Hi, when you get to Calais okay." Francis laughed. I nodded and turned to Samuel. "Thanks for everything! We'll be heading to Calais now." I waved at them. Leon and Francis smiled and waved us goodbye.

Samuel, Will and I turned around and started walking. I had one last glimpse of the generous duo before we reached the carriage.

I held the box Leon gave me and smiled. Samuel helped me into the carriage and the trip began. I smiled out at the ocean and watched the glittery sight of the sea.

I didn't believe in luck but yet here I was against most odds. Samuel wrapped his arm around me and I cradled my head.

But maybe today luck was on my side. And maybe soon I'll see Y/N.

~Y/N's pov~

My hand rested on the worn page. I sighed staring out at the view of the little town. Everything was silent and still and only the quiet whispers of maids were heard.

I didn't want to be near George or my children. This 'happy' family we pretend to be is honestly living hell for me. It seems horrible for me to say this, but each day I despised them more and more, while pretending the opposite. I just wanted to be alone, frankly that's how I've always wanted to be.

I didn't want this 'family' or this life, but yet that was how it was. I've lied and done bad things like any other persom but did I deserve this?

Either way each second I spend here I lose my sense of personality. Of course I had art to keep me occupied but the overwhelming feeling if realising that this was the rest of my life was nothing to short of depression. When I told George I 'loved' him, it was out of pity.

But I saw what he was doing, I didn't feel guilty anymore. It was his fault I left. I always kept blaming myself for everything I had done but yet it was George's fault. Obsession isn't love and that's what George is, obsessed. I don't care if he wants a happy family because he could have that with any other person in the world. And yet he chose me, I hated the fact that if he never existed maybe my life would be happier.

Maybe without him, I could live. I judged George without his crown and yet I shouldn't have. When I said to Jane that he had no personality beyond his job, I was right. He was just a King, and I was just his wife.

I glared at the page I was reading and sighed in frustration. I didn't want to be remembered as 'King George's wife' I wanted to be remembered as Y/N L/N. But when times move forward and I'm a thing of the past, that's all I'll be. I'd rather be forgotten than be remembered as that.

I didn't love George, and I never will. Not because of what he's done to me, but because of he is.

I held the spine of my book in my hands squeezing it with frustration. And yet after all this hate. I didn't want to leave. Even though I hated living here and being with George something inside that heart I probably don't have is the one last thing keeping me here. But I didn't know what it was. The feeling only litter my mind sometimes, a familiar feeling I was two scared to reveal.

I smiled and stared at my book cherishing that odd feeling. Tears began to roll out of my eyes and channel across my face.

My feelings were a mess, contradicting themselves every chance they got. This game was cruel as so was life, maybe it wasn't George whi was causing me pain. Maybe it was my own mind tearing itself to pieces. I hadn't talked to anyone in a while, and I felt alone.

I slapped myself out of my trance and stared back at the page. My mind was somehow a rabbit whole that I had fell into and I was trying to escape. Maybe I was going crazy and frankly it wouldn't surprise or hurt me.

I turned the last page and smiled. I was losing this game and my mind but I wasn't upset. Why? I wouldn't know.

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THIS CHAPTER IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY Y/N'S MIND.

Lol this chapter was w e i r d.  Hopefully the next isn't so aghhhhhhhhhhh. Y/N's emotional battles(?) are almost as frequent as my musical outbursts.