Forgotten, But Not Lost

Chapter 8

Stage 2 - isolation (Ben)

Ben's eyes remained shut, he knew exactly where he was. He could never mistake that mechanical hum and that stale old smell from his father's ship. He knew he was standing in the living quarters of the Millennium Falcon. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes slowly.

When he opened them, he was standing directly in the middle, next to the table and breakfast nook. He walked around to try and find anyone, even if it was his father's fluffy companion.

He knew before he was finished searching the ship, that he was completely and utterly alone. Ben held memories from this ship, some good heartfelt ones, but then some not so great ones.

As Ben looked at the nook, he envisioned his mother, Leia, sitting there sipping a cup of hot tea. Whenever Leia thought Ben was mindlessly playing with his toys, Ben would watch his mother with sadden eyes. He knew even as a child, his mother carried heavy grief and the relationship between her and his father always seemed strained.

Ben remembered in that same memory, his father coming into the room to try and smooth over what he most likely caused for his mother to look the way she did. Han was always talking his way out of trouble when he smuggled, why would his family be any different? Ben knew that his father loved him in his own way, no matter what the status was with himself and Leia, Han always took the time to be with Ben.

His mother always seemed like she had a million different things on her mind. From dealing with her husband and helping with getting the New Republic up and running. Leia was never living in the moment but rather light years away. Ben knew she didn't have time for him, but that didn't stop the sting it caused his heart every time. That's why he thought his father tried extra hard to make time for Ben. Han knew Ben was neglected from having loving parents, but he would never admit that. When neither parent could take the time to see to their son, he had a handy hairy uncle to step up to the plate. Chewie was his favorite and he would sit in his lap for hours speaking back and forth to him about all the adventures Chewie and Han would go on. Ben could see it now as his eyes drifted to the benches that were in the far wall, Chewie content with a curled up Ben in his lap fast asleep.

Ben stood still in the living quarters, coming back to reality of the empty ship, he walked to his favorite place in the whole ship, the cockpit. Ben waltzed in, but now he seemed like he had to duck a bit through the threshold. That was extremely unfamiliar, but then again it had been over ten years since he had been on his father's ship. Ben placed his hands on the back of the pilot and co-pilot seat, he felt the over used leather on his fingers and he closed his eyes in comfort.

When he opened them again he saw his father occupying the pilot seat. Han looked right at him and Ben didn't know what to do.

"Ben, how many times do I have to tell you, you cannot keep my lucky dice. They belong right here." Han motioned above his head, as this was the place his father would always keep them hanging for good luck.

Ben knew this was just another memory he had from when he was younger, back when he used to go on trips with Han and Chewie. Ben knew the seat that was his own and he looked back at it. There he was, a tiny raven haired boy sitting behind the co-pilot seat, always getting into trouble. Suddenly a growl was heard from behind both young Ben and Ben now. Little Ben's eyes lit up and he screamed.

"Uncle Chewwwieeee!"

Little Ben leaped from his chair into the awaiting fuzzy filled arms of Chewbacca. Chewie nestled and scruffed up little Ben's hair and placed him back into his chair.

Ben was ripped from that fond memory he shared of Chewie. Instantly Ben could feel warm tears crawling their way down his face.

"Solo, now do you see that you were left with your Uncle and forgotten by your own parents. If only your parents weren't too consumed with themselves, they would have seen their bright child sitting in front of them."

Ben knew exactly whose voice was talking to him now, Snoke. Ben angrily wiped his tears dry and composed himself, so he did not appear weak.

"Now is not the time to remember your parents failure, but to seek belonging from another form of your family."

Ben did not seem to understand what Snoke was talking about, so in his head he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You see Solo, you come from a very powerful bloodline. Vader is your grandfather, as you found out. If you learn the ways of the force that I have to offer, I can teach you to communicate to him. I can even offer the same to dear Amar. She as well comes from a very rich bloodline, one that she does not know about yet."

"Amar knows she comes from Ezra Bridger, who fought in the rebellion." Ben assured Snoke.

"My boy, you really think she gets her powers from Bridger? Has she never wondered who her mother was? Why Bridger and her had to keep in the shadows? Her mother was from Mirial. Long ago Emperor Palpatine prepared for his demise and decided to put a contingency in place. He bore a child with another force user and had Amar's mother Maru. Maru knew she was a Palpatine, but when she met Ezra, she renounced her father's wishes and ran away for forbidden love."

Ben was taken aback by this information, Amar was a grandchild of the Emperor. Ben was the grandson of Vader, making the two of them descendants of the true dark side of the force. Ben sat down in one of the chairs in the cockpit to steady himself. How was he going to tell Amar this information? Why hadn't Luke told her? Thinking about all of this information made Ben's blood boil. The both of them were being manipulated from the Jedi to be made to choose the light side and deny their true nature, which was ultimately the dark side.

He could feel in his head that Snoke's voice was no longer there.

Suddenly, he was ripped from his father's ship, and was then placed on a mining planet. As he looked around he heard shouting, the workers were trying to ward off their attackers. The men pursuing them where all in black and were masked. Who were these men? Ben reached out with the force and could feel slight signatures from each one of them. They were not completely force sensitive but enough to get by. As he took in each figure they all had their own unique weapons, there were oddly familiar to Ben.

In a moment, they all looked at Ben and surrounded him. He knew instantly he had seen this bunch before, he had encountered them with Master Luke and he had fought them off. The leader of the group was Ren, he had told Ben as a boy that maybe one day he could live up to his true potential and join them. Of course, to save face Ben had scoffed at the man, but inside he envied them. They had no rules and took what they wanted. They had a brethren code and they stuck to it. Ben only wished now that he had taken Ren up on his offer, but then he instantly felt guilty. If he had done that, it would have left Amar alone with Master Luke and he would have never been able to grow alongside her. It donned on Ben that Snoke had told him previously to find them. He had not put the two and two together that they were the same men he had encountered as a child with Master Luke.

Ben's surroundings were back on the Falcon, and he had never felt more alone in that moment. Without Amar by his side, he was nothing. His family abandoned him and his own Uncle who was a Master Jedi was afraid of him.

Ben knew in that moment that things were going to change after the trials, they had too. Amar and himself could not continue this way and deny themselves from the opportunities they could have outside of the Jedi Order.

He also knew that he could never be apart from Amar. Something in his heart told him that it was no coincidence that both of the decedent's from Palpatine and Vader had chosen to be together. This was something beyond their control in the force. Thinking about all of the books Ben had spent studying, not one of them told him about the force connection Amar and himself were able to do. The way he could feel her emotions without being right next to her and physically connect to her when they were separated by planets was definitely unheard of in the Jedi's texts.

One thing that he was certain of for sure was that they had to be together at all costs, no matter what happened.