Forgotten, But Not Lost

Chapter 28

The night on the humid Batuu had turned to dawn, which brought a slight breeze through the window of the small home. Kylo Ren had managed to sleep a few hours after his rendezvous with the local woman, Amar. As he laid there awake, he leaned over to gawk at the amazing creature she was, fast asleep with only a light sheet covering her very exposed body. In his mind, Kylo knew how wrong this was, he would never be allowed any form of attachments other than the First Order and the Supreme Leader himself.

Kylo ran his hand over her bare shoulders to feel again how soft and smooth her skin felt under his hands that had been used to do unspeakable things. Kylo thought to himself how odd, this Amar pulled at his soul, no one had ever attracted his attention like she did. He knew she was very much alone, he could see it written all over her face, someone had hurt her and clearly had left her with all of the responsibility. Kylo knew Amar had children by the way her body so unforgivingly sprawled stretch marks over her abdomen, but it didn't matter to him. Amar was the most beautiful being he had laid eyes on, even if he was given all the desires from the dark side.

Kylo knew that he could never do this again, but he so desperately wanted to already come back and he hadn't even left yet. He had already been gone too long, if he were to stay much longer, Snoke would summon him for questioning and he did not need that. If Snoke found out where he was, he would most certainly eliminate his distraction. Kylo felt for some reason he needed to keep Amar and her family safe, he would keep tabs on her if he must, but in secret. She was an enigma to him, he never found out anything about her, since she was nowhere to be found in the database.

During their encounter last night, Kylo could have sworn he felt a force signature through Amar, but he was pulled from that thought from all the distractions going on around him. Kylo thought maybe as she slept he could gently sift through her mind to see if he could find any information. He tried a weak approach so he wouldn't wake her and get caught trying to snoop, but he just had to know something about her.

Her mind was very all over the place, but he focused in on what seemed to be very important to her, her twin girls. He could see them running through the jungle with Amar shortly behind them, the girls were each a little different, but one of them very much looked like Amar herself. The other girl had features of her mother, but not completely, she had raven colored hair and her eyes were much darker and round. Kylo would had mistaken that young girl for a descendent of himself or just even a female version of him. He could feel the force somewhere within Amar and these twins, he just knew it, but before he could venture further, he saw the soft hazel eyes of the woman he lay in bed with flutter open.

Kylo pulled his hand back from her cheek and instantly felt ashamed. Amar didn't show any signs of anger towards him surprisingly. He knew now that she was awake, he needed to take his leave back to the Finalizer.

"I must leave back to the First Order. I don't know if I will ever be able to come back. I do want you to know that you are an amazing being and have brought me a night of peace among much darkness." Kylo told her as he gazed into her eyes.

Amar was stunned by the words that escaped his lips, Kylo Ren was admitting to being in pain from the darkness and that she softened the blow of it. To know he may not come back was unbearable to think, but the force worked in many ways, who knows what the future held.

"I will always be here." Amar simply stated to him and she leaned her head towards him and placed her lips upon his. It was a long kiss, one filled with sadness, but contentment of how things had turned out last night.

Kylo rose to dress himself as Amar remained in bed. The bed felt cold without his presence and Amar already missed him before he had even left. Kylo could sense her unease with already being alone and he related to that in so many levels it wasn't even funny.

As he finished getting dressed, he grabbed his helmet from the main living area and walked back to the bed. He knew this shouldn't be this hard, if he didn't allow his emotions to control him so much, he could just walk away and never look back, but something in the back of his mind told him that would be impossible for him to do.

As he walked in, Amar was sitting up in the bed with the sheet still covering her bare body from his sight.

"Guess this is goodbye my Lord?" Amar said in barely a whisper.

Kylo strutted to the side of the bed and towered over her as she peered up at him. Kylo gently kissed her forehead and caressed her cheeks with his hands.

"For now." Kylo simply said as he placed his helmet back on his head and turned towards the exit. He was glad that the helmet covered his face from the emotions he was feeling as he walked outside the home, without looking back. Kylo could feel her gaze upon his back and how much longing was behind it, he wanted to tell her how equal he felt, but that was a weakness he needed to rid of before he got to the Finalizer. Kylo Ren could never show any weakness or else he risked Snoke finding out.

Amar watched as Kylo Ren left in a blur of a black mass, only because her eyes were glazing over with salted tears. She could feel them now streaming down her face and she couldn't even move to wipe them away. Amar could hear his TIE fighter screech away from the planet and she was left with another empty feeling in her stomach. She felt like she had lost him again and she knew that was to be expected for letting her emotions take control over her last night.

Amar sunk down into the bed as she thought about her lustful night with her Ben. Amar had expected him to be selfish and straight to the point, but that was not the case. Even if Ben had turned into Kylo Ren, his gentleness still remained, but with an added confidence he lacked before all of this. Kylo Ren knew his way around her body and was not shy about it, but neither was Amar. After the ordeal, he didn't disregard her like she also thought would be the case, no, they both laid facing each other, with no words, only feelings.

At one point, Amar came close to telling him the truth, but she knew it would endanger everything, with Snoke still very much around and strong, she couldn't risk it. For now this was it, she would welcome him if he came back, but she would stay strong and still raise her girls in the path of balance with the force.

Speaking of girls, Amar knew she needed to straighten herself up before Ra'sara would be arriving back with the girls in a few hours. The girls could never know about Kylo Ren or even be in the vicinity of him. They had a bond and if they felt him through the force they would know immediately his connection to them, just he wouldn't have any idea why. Amar did not need to talk about their father just yet with them, with it being so complicated and sad. Amar believed that Kylo had sensed the twins in her dreams and knew that she had children. If he were to ever return, Amar assumed he would realize she needed to send them off before he came in. Luckily Ra'sara loved them to pieces, so that would be fairly easy.

There was so much at stake. Snoke was an impending doom, but also the fact of Amar's lineage coming from Sheev Palpatine... Amar couldn't bare to tell Tana and Iris about their own father, let alone they come from pure evil. Amar just hoped the force would allow only the light to influence the girls.

Amar straightened the main room and her bedroom, as she was finishing up she could feel her girls force signatures drawing closer and closer. Amar turned to see the front door open and the twins ran in with Ra'sara shortly behind them. Amar opened her arms and the girls ran into them with all their excitement to be home and to tell their mother all about their adventures. They embraced each other and the girls instantly froze. Amar thought that was strange they don't normally end it so quickly, but when she looked down at them, she could tell they were concerned over something. Amar followed their eyes to see a black cowl tossed to the far corner of the main room. Shit. Kylo had left his cowl and Amar had not seen it until this moment. The girls were very observant to their surroundings, so this item was out of the normal causing concern. Tana ran over to the cowl and picked it up, Amar tried to reach it before she did, but it was too late.

"Momma, is this daddy's?" Tana asked bluntly to Amar.