Forgotten, But Not Lost

Chapter 23

Life in the Black Spire Outpost was very much the same day after day for Amar. She woke up in her tiny home on the outskirts of the city limits. Coming outside of her home, Amar would walk past the farm of Lahiroo's that sang and whistled in their yard. Batuu was home to loads of creatures and the feathered reptiles were among them and seemed to be kept as pets everywhere you looked.

Amar found simple pleasure in her daily stroll through her closest neighbors farmlands. Though Amar only had a small home, her land was something to strive on about. Her yard was vast and she also had small claim to the jungle of the Batuu tree that grew golden lichen on it.

Amar knew when she stepped foot on the planet, there was a strong force to the jungle beyond, the Batuuans, held their planet and their local inhabitants in high regard, with good reason, the force was strong here.

When Amar first got to the planet, she had zero idea on what to do. First off, she was a wreck, she had endured losing everything in her life as she knew it, in a matter of a second. Amar had located a landowner straight away in town, she knew if she could persuade them to provide her with a home to start, that would help get her on her way from there. When she found the land owner, she had to do a little more persuading by waving her hand in front of the Rhodian and using an old Jedi mind trick. Amar could not punish herself for forcing their hand, she was pregnant with twins and she was going to need to start right away, to provide for them.

The Rhodian land owner showed Amar her home and land, all she needed to pay was a small sum of 200 credits each moon cycle. Amar walked into her home, it was simple, it contained a couple bedrooms and a main room. It was enough for her and her growing younglings, she knew she was never going to be with anyone else. There wasn't anyone else. Ben Solo was her forever.

Amar sank down to the floor of the home and felt the weight of the galaxy on her shoulders. She knew she couldn't spend all her time wallowing in her sadness for her own sanity and her babes. Amar bowed her head and rested her hands on her thighs to start her meditation, she reached out through the force and could feel the strong pull from her babies from within. Amar focused on them, they were a warm comfort to her, they were a mix of her and Ben. Amar knew she would always have that, if not Ben himself, she had at least half of him in each child. Amar raised her hands to her ever growing belly and spoke to them through the force.

I will always be there for you and lookout for you, my loves. Be strong and grow. Momma will be here waiting for your arrival. I already love you with every ounce I have.

Amar chuckled to herself and rose her head and smiled for the empty home to see. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a flicker of blue. Amar looked around to find what her eyes had caught a second ago, through the force she could feel a familiar feeling, but not one she ever thought to feel again. Ben. Amar could feel Ben's force, but how? Snoke had severed their connection and Ben had no recollection of who she was anymore or should she say Kylo Ren. No, he would always be Ben Solo to her, she would not give this creature any ounce of credit anymore. Ben was gone and Amar couldn't do anything about it, her tracker prevented that. If she wanted to keep her family safe, she needed to stay low and out of sight.

The blue flicker caught her eye again, she followed the way it had gone and the swoosh of blue was in front of her in an instant. It was a blue butterfly, just like the ones she had encountered at the temple. The feeling of Ben was connected to this butterfly, every time she had experienced it in the past it had been when she was thinking of Ben.

Even if Kylo Ren now inhabited Ben Solo's body, the force still knew somehow that Ben was always going to be there for Amar. Amar reached out and the butterfly landed on her pointer finger. Amar felt a little crazy and maybe she was going insane already, but it gave her comfort.

"Send Ben my love and that I will never ever forget him. His family will always be here for him waiting." Amar told the curious butterfly, she leaned in and kissed the tiny insect and it fluttered off out of the open window.

Amar felt some relief that something out there still connected them together somehow. She knew it was severed, but maybe not completely. That gave Amar hope, something she would hold onto dearly.

After a few months of establishing herself on the planet of Batuu, Amar had her residence and she had a well paying job in the outpost. Amar had landed a job as a curator of the antiquities that were held at the Dok-Ondar's Den. Amar had heard of this place from among the inhabitants of Batuu, she heard rumors of the place housing the lightsaber to the old Master Jedi Ki-Adi-Mundi. No one could ever know that Amar had been a Jedi and still held that title, without her lightsaber it would be hard to prove to the average person. She convinced Dok, that she was skilled and trained in her young years studying all about antiquities, which wasn't a complete lie, Master Luke did indeed teach them all about old relics.

Amar proved to be a great asset to him and the shop, Dok offered her a full-time curator job, to make sure throughout the day and at the end, all the items were taken care of and remained where they were supposed to.

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As Amar walked past the farmland on this sunny morning to the outpost to make her shift at the Den, she could feel something different about the day. Amar felt like a storm was coming, she could feel something dark in her bones. Amar looked down at her swollen belly, she was due any day and it was becoming quite a struggle to walk to and from the town.

Amar insisted that she needed to work until the time came for them to be born. Dok claimed she could have a few weeks off and he had hired a local Twi'lek, who had great interest to take over for Amar, while she was gone.

Amar slowed her walk, the persistent feeling was not going away and she knew it was only going to get worse. She felt awful about not showing up to her shift, but if she did go in, she couldn't guarantee she would be very useful in the state she was in. Amar turned around and headed back for her small village on the outskirts.

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In the galaxy far from Batuu, The Knights of Ren were flying on their ship, the Night Buzzard. Kylo Ren was in his quarters on the ship, he was in pain, great anguish. In front of him laid his old saber, all of it in pieces with his Kyber crystal in his hands. The room was mostly dark, but for a small red glow of a bulb above Kylo's head, he wore no helmet and was shirtless. Kylo knew this part was something he had to do in order to start the path and commit to the dark side. Snoke had told him the process was not one to take lightly and would cause him immense pain. Kylo knew of pain, his entire family had abandoned him, his parents, Chewbacca, and his own Master, Uncle Luke.

For as long as he could remember he had always felt alone and he could never relate to anyone, not even anyone at the temple. In the pit of Kylo's stomach, he knew there was something wrong every time he thought about the temple and his past, he chalked it up to his pain caused from his abandonment, but in reality Kylo couldn't shake the feeling, something was missing.

Either way, Kylo knew this is what he needed to do, the pain was only growing by the minute. He could feel it growing in his inner abdomen, it was now or never. Kylo needed to perform the ritual for choosing the path of the dark side. In order to perform the ritual, one needed to bleed their Kyber crystal, all their hate and pain being bled into the crystal itself. Kylo sat with his knees on the ground with the crystal in his hand and opened the doorway in his mind to let the fear, anger, pain, and loss flood it.