BTS HYYH Notes (Book 1, 2, BUS Game) // COMPLETE [Part 2]

2022, Jun 23 - Yoongi (Map of Mine)

(A/N: This might be a loop. It was translated so we're not sure.)

[Place: Workroom]

After noticing the notification from the group chat, I unlocked my phone. Before I noticed, the day was already dark.

It wasn't easy to collect all the melodies I made. I collected and organized all the ones that survived from what I recklessly burnt and the melodies that I still remember. To my surprise, most of them were the ones I made in the storage room during high school. Even if I look back, I don't think I worked on music that much back then. The 'me' back then, no, the 'me' in anytime period, was always running away from music.

The conversation went pretty far by the time I opened the chat. Surprisingly, the person who created the group chat was Jimin and it seemed like the topic was already discussed, the conversation started from the middle abruptly.

Taehyung asked everyone. "Do you know what 'Map of the Soul' is?"

It was quite after when Hoseok replied, "What is that?"

Taehyung replied, "Hyung, if I knew, would I ask?"

"Ah right. But why?"

After those conversation went back and forth, Jimin explained the situation. He went to the hospital and saw Seokjin hyung by chance and saw how he was searching for something called 'Map of the Soul'.

It was way after when Namjoon appeared in the group chat. "Before, Seokjin hyung also asked me what 'Map of the Soul' was, back then, hyung told me how this 'Map of the Soul' will be the method to end all of this."

Then, the conversation didn't continued for a while. Everyone was probably lost in their thoughts. What was "the thing" Seokjin hyung had to end? Everyone already noticed hyung was acting weird. Then if the 'Map of the Soul' was found, would hyung be better? What was that and where can we find it?

The conversation that started after long time was this, "Did you not invite Jungkook into this group chat?"

Jimin replied, "I thought about it, but Jungkook is still sick." Jimin slurred his words as if he wasn't confident.

I suddenly thought, why did Jimin go to the hospital? How did he feel going to the hospital after being locked up there for a long time?

I opened the chat room that I closed and wrote, "Good. You did good. Let's leave Jungkook to rest a little more."

***

(A/N: Book version.)

[Place: Workroom]

I closed the chatroom and looked up at the ceiling. The map of the soul, Seokjin hyung, memories, help---. I had said why bother talking about it by ourselves when we could just ask Seokjin hyung, but not because I didn't know the answer to my own question.

We had realized it at different times, but we all noticed it: something was wrong with Seokjin hyung. We'd hung around together since high school, but I didn't really have many memories of him.

After I got expelled, I'd not seen him or thought of him often. But he was on my mind. As if we'd spent many hours together or gone through many hardships together. Not only with hyung, but I felt this way with every one of them.

With the rain and high temperature, it felt wet and stuffy. When I stood up to adjust the wind on the fan in the workroom, my whole body ached.

(A/N: Sorta throwback)

I left home a couple of days ago. I didn't do it on a whim. But that was how it had to start. Freeing myself from my abeoji's judging eyes and from my eommeoni's spirit. I wanted to see myself with my own eyes.

I saw abeoji as I was walking out the house with a bag packed with my stuff. I told him I no longer needed financial support because I was officially going to live independently.

Abeoji was quite for a while and said, "Text me from time to time and let me know you're doing well."

After unpacking my bag at the workroom, I thought about what to do now. I had to make money. I decided to get manual work, and I chose the most physically demanding job on purpose.

I went to work at a construction site. I decided to push myself to the limit. I couldn't trust myself yet. I thought I'd work during the day and write music at night, but it didn't go the way I'd planned. When I came back after work, I usually crashed.

(A/N: End of throwback. He was just saying/thinking this way because he had a job earlier before getting on his workroom this night.)

The map of the soul---, if there were a map of my soul, what would it look like? The road I'd travelled must've begun with my parents, meandered through adolescence with music and running, and got marked with an inflection point at the fire and my eommeoni's death.

After that, it was the booze and smoking, feeling lost and having a death wish and--- come to think of it, my friends. How would the small things we'd done together show up on the map of my soul?

Maybe now was another point of inflection. And the future of the map of my soul would draw my life from here on, the decisions and choices I'd make.

Lying on the sofa, I closed my eyes. I hadn't even touched my music yet when I was overcome with sleep.