BTS HYYH Notes (Book 1, 2, BUS Game) // COMPLETE [Part 2]

2022, May 10 - Hoseok (She is Sick)

(A/N: POV #1)

[Places: Imo's house, road, bridge, hospital.]

I'm getting ready for work as usual when I get a call from one of the younger kids I know from the children's home.

"Hello?"

"Hoseok hyung, have you heard the news about Junghee imo?"

"What news?"

"Ah... You haven't."

"Why? What's up with imo?"

"She isn't working at the children's home anymore. So I asked why. Imo is sick."

She always talked about her bad knee and back, so I thought those were why. "Is her back bothering her again? Or her knee?"

"No it's... She has a cancer. Colon cancer."

"What are you talking about?"

"She had a physical (exam) not that long ago and they found it then. It requires surgery, but since it's late stage... They said the chances of success are low."

I'd never even thought about cancer. My mind blanks - I hang up, unable to say anything. I should go visit imo. I need to go and see for myself.

"Hoseok-ah!"

I rush out of the house to find Seokjin hyung standing in front.

"I stopped by because I am worried. Are you headed out?"

"Hyung, I have somewhere I need to go right now." I don't even have a time to ask why Seokjin hyung's here. My mind is consumed with the thought of getting to imo.

I rush by hyung and he follows, clearly surprised. "Where are you going?"

"I need to go see imo. Junghee imo is..."

"Get in my car, then. I'll take you there."

🔴

(A/N: Loop #1: Refuse the ride.)

I shake my head no. I know hyung will ask me about what's going on if I accept, and I don't want anyone to tell about imo's illness quite yet. I want to ask her about it... Because I'm afraid saying it out loud will make it come true.

"No, I'm okay. I'll see you later hyung."

I continue past him and run to the bus stop, praying and hoping that it's nothing the entire time.

🔴

(A/N: Loop #2: Get in the car.)

I get into Seokjin hyung's car in a hurry.

"Do I got to the children's home?"

"No, to imo's house." I tell hyung the neighborhood where imo lives. The car begins to move.

"It's the same imo that we saw last time, right? Did something happen?"

I can't not answer him. He sounds so worried. "... She has colon cancer."

"Is it really bad?"

I'm afraid that admitting it will make it come true. "... I'm not sure. They're going to try surgery..." I pretend to be calm, but my voice trembles noticeably. I look out the window without completing my statement. Seokjin hyung doesn't press further. "Hyung, you can let me out here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's near."

"... Hoseok-ah." Hyung calls after me as I get out of the car. "I'm sure she'll be alright."

"Thanks." Even with Seokjin hyung's words of consolation, my hand still tremble.

🔴

I shake myself out of it to see that I'm back on the bridge. I don't remember how I made it to imo's house after I said to Seokjin hyung goodbye. The only thing that I remember was the face I saw in one of the open windows of imo's house.

Imo laughed as she talked to someone. The news of her illness and about her needing surgery and even the comment about it having a low success rate. Everything seems like a lie.

She was the first person I could rely on after I lost my eommeoni. The song imo sang to me in a place of a lullaby was a song eommeoni liked, and it was the first moment of familiarity I had in that foreign place.

I feel like I might burst into tears. I keep seeing the image of myself standing in front of the carousel like an idiot. My head spins.

I just wanted them to stay by my side. Is that too much to ask? What kind of terrible thing have I ever done?

***

(A/N: POV #2)

When I was back to my senses, I was walking on a bridge. The sun was strong and it gave me a hard time to open my eyes properly. When I was thinking about "Why did I come all the way here?", I felt dizzy and my vision blurred. My knees seemed to bend and the honking from cars hit my ears. My vision seemed to tilt to one side and I saw the dark river water of Yangji cheon (stream).

The imo at the orphanage was the first person I was able to depend on after I lost my eommeoni. The dawn I woke up from the fever, the empty bed that was left after sending off my friend who got adopted, when I woke up from seizure due to narcolepsy, from entering middle school to graduating high school, the person who was by my side was that imo, my imo.

A big bus passed me, making a wind. "Eomma," I mumbled. Looking at the bus that passed me.

The day I was separated with eommeoni, even that day, we rode a bus like that. Would imo leave my side like how eommeoni did? Would I lose another person who was precious to me?

As I raised my head, sunlight poured down. Then the world started to collapse. The sound of friction made with tires and asphalt when passing by, the wind blowing from the river, all the memories made with my imo broke down in the sunlight.

I collapsed on the ground.

***

(A/N: POV #3)

My narcolepsy occurred anytime, anywhere. I collapsed without warning while working and blacked out suddenly on the street. I pretended that I wasn't so concerned about it in front of those who worried about me. I'd never told anyone that I couldn't bear to count to ten.

I always ended up having dreams about eommeoni when I blacked out. The dreams were all alike. I was heading somewhere with eommeoni on a bus. I was excited and cheerful. I read the signs that passed by, watched her profile, and kept fidgeting. I was about 7 in my dreams.

Then, it suddenly crossed my mind. Eommeoni had left me. I was 20 when I realized that.

Eommeoni was still sitting in the seat in front of me on the bus. She looked exactly the same from behind. When I whispered "Eomma," she turned her head as if she heard me. Her silhouette glimmered against the bright sunlight and her hair fluttered in the wind just like at the amusement park that day. The saddest part was that, I knew, I knew that I would awake from this dream if she turned her head further and looked at me.

I tried to tell her not to turn around, but my voice failed. I kept trying to shout. "Eomma, don't turn around! Don't turn around!" But she always turned around and looked at me. Just when our eyes were about to meet, everything turned white, and the pale fluorescent light on the ceiling of the hospital room appeared.

It was the same today. When I opened my eyes, the first thing that came into sight was the fluorescent light on the ceiling. I was changed into a patient gown.

The doctor said I seemed to have had a concussion and needed a more thorough check. I was moved to a six-person hospital room. I felt exhausted. I always felt exhausted when I regained consciousness.