BTS HYYH Notes (Book 1, 2, BUS Game) // COMPLETE [Part 2]

2022, Aug 30 - Seokjin (The Loops)

[Place: Streets]

(A/N: Loop #1. Please notice how I merged two books and other non-books translations to come up with one story line.)

Who would be able to remember the moment love begins? Who would be able to predict the moment when love ends? Why might it be that humans are not given the ability to perceive such moments? And why is it that I have been given the ability to restore everything to the way it had been?

I received a bouquet of Smeraldo flowers at the last minute. It was past the appointed time, and I was looking at my watch impatiently. Fortunately, the delivery truck appeared before she did. The flower shop owner was driving a truck with the Flower Smeraldo logo on the side.

"Sorry. The fireworks festival held me up."

After the truck left, I discovered there was no card in the bouquet, which I'd ordered with the flowers. I called the owner right away.

"Ah, I'll make a U-turn now. The light just changed..." Before the owner finished his sentence, she came into view, walking towards me from an intersection far in the distance.

(A/N: Based on the book, Jungkook and the others gathered around in container town on this present loop.)

The delivery truck came to a sudden stop after making a U-turn. Its headlights flashed. I stood there helplessly amidst the scene of crashing, bouncing, and falling. I couldn't hear or feel anything for a moment. It was summer, but the wind felt chilly. Then, I heard something hitting and rolling on the road. The fragrance of flowers tickled my nose. I came back to reality. The bouquet of Smeraldo flowers fell from my hand. She was lying in the middle of the road. Blood began to spread out from underneath her tousled hair. Dark red blood flowed down the road. And I thought. If only I could turn back time. if only, huh...

With a loud pop, the first set of fireworks burst into the air on the night sky in the distance. Somewhere, I heard a mirror crack...

***

(A/N: Loop #2)

It seemed like she was shocked to see the diary she thought she had lost. Her favorite movie, the place she wants to go, favorite flower, her dreamed future came up every time I flipped through the pages. It was also something I had done for her. Sorry wasn't coming out of my mouth. The red diary was between us like a street light on street.

I wanted to make her happy. Wanted to make her smile. I wanted to be a good person. I thought if I follow what is on diary it will work. But it wasn't true. As I tried to be someone else, I started to get afraid. If I get caught about the real me. However, as if I couldn't put a period on sentence that has lost its subject, I, who has lost his true identity couldn't move forward and remained in the same place.

Now I know. My lacking and failure is also part of me. No matter how cruel and painful it is, that I have to be honest about myself to move forward.

I got up and she didn't stop me. I came to the streets and took off my cap. As I combed my hair, the time I spent to become someone else slipped through my fingers. While I turned my head, I made eye contact with myself who was reflected on the glass. Dry skin, pale lips, slim shoulders. All seemed pathetic. It made me laugh. The me reflected on the glass laughed with me.

***

(A/N: Other translation from this same event)

I came back to my everyday routine. And everything had changed. I had to change too. No, I had to go back to being me.

When she saw her diary, which she was sure she had lost, she couldn't hide her surprise. Her favorite movie, places, flowers and future dreams were all in the pages. They were the things I wanted to do for her. I couldn't tell her I was sorry. Her red diary was in between us like an intersection signal.

All I wanted was to make her happy and make her smile. And I wanted to be a good person. If I did what the diary said, I thought I could be that person.

But it didn't happened that way. The harder I tried to become someone else, the more distant I grew from her. Even when things became so bad to the point of being irreparable. I worried about revealing my true self and her leaving me, disappointed. I desperately tried to hide and turn away from myself. As you cannot put a period at the end of  sentence without a subject, after losing myself, I circled around the same place, unable to take a step forward.

I know now the me who fails and blunders is still a part of me. Only when I was honest with myself, no matter how cruel or painful it might be, would I be able to take the next step? I stood up. She didn't stop me.

I walked out to the street and took my cap off. When I combed my hair with my fingers, all those hours when I had tried so hard to become someone else slipped away through my fingers. I turned and saw myself reflected in the glass window. The pallid face, pale lips, and skinny shoulders. I looked raggedy, but that was me. I smiled. And the reflection in the window smiled with me.