38| A Complete Idiot Ass
"IDIOT," Matteo muttered with a shake of his head once again. It had become his normal greeting for me each day since Friday. And I had just gotten home from a jog in the evening Tuesday, aka Matteo's birthday, which meant that he was once again due to greet me with my new name.
"I get it, Matteo. I'm an idiot," I said, catching my breath as I stepped into the kitchen and immediately went for the fridge. I needed water and I needed it bad.
"A complete idiot ass," Matteo said, intercepting me with a freshly filled water bottle. I sent him a grateful smile and immediately started to chug the water. "I'm not going to remind you about why you're an idiot. But you are one."
"Thanks."
Matteo turned around and started leaving the room and heading upstairs to his bedroom, and I unspokenly followed.
"You still haven't even sent Ava a text?" he asked as we walked up the stairs.
"No, she wouldn't want to hear from me. And right now, I don't know what to say," I admitted. Matteo hummed, a sign that he wasn't going to pry any further.
I knew that I was an idiot for what happened at the party on Friday night. I'd wanted to spend time with Ava and it got cut short because of stupid Chloe. But even when Ava told me that she knew nothing would happen between me and Chloe, I couldn't stop teasing her enough to see that she was actually serious. Instead, I'd blurted out something stupid along the lines of, "it's not like you love me", which incidentally was the worst thing I could have said.
It's not like you love me. I mentally slapped myself. Idiot, idiot, idiot.
I had feelings for Ava I couldn't explain. I wouldn't text her until I had the best thing to say. Something that wouldn't fuck me over even further.
For now, Matteo and I walked into his room. He was getting ready for his birthday dinner tonight with Maverick and he was nervous out of his mind. I don't even think his birthday had been on his mind at all today. I'd given him a present this morning – a Frank Ocean hoodie I'd ordered special off of Etsy along with a wooden spoon carved with Timothee Chalamet's face because Matteo always liked to joke about Timothee Chalamet and loving him – and even when Matteo finished opening it excitedly, he went right back to being anxious. Even Butler had slipped Matteo a present – a pressed CD of all Frank Ocean's unreleased music for his car – and Matteo couldn't stay excited about his birthday for more than a few minutes at a time.
Anxiety was number one right now. He was going to tell Maverick how he felt and Maverick was going to have to tell the truth. And from what Ava had told me, the truth didn't exactly favor what Matteo was hoping for.
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