58| Infinitely Brave

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58| Infinitely Brave

NOT even my mother's cold attitude had been able to take away from how good I felt

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NOT even my mother's cold attitude had been able to take away from how good I felt. Not since Theo's surprise Saturnalia. Not since I'd spent the night with him.

I always thought I'd wait until I was married to have sex. Not because I was super religious or believed that sex before marriage was wrong, but just because I always assumed that I wouldn't want to until I was married in a fully committed relationship.

But then there was Theo. And I think some people are just meant to come into your life to screw up your plans in the best way. That's exactly what he did from the first moment I met him. And the other night when he planned our little Saturnalia moment, when he told me that I was a different kind of home for him, I realized that I felt the exact same way. I realized that I did love him to forever and being with him had nothing to do with marriage. I just wanted to be as close as possible. I had no regrets waking up the next morning knowing how concrete our relationship was.

It seemed everyone's relationship was concrete between me and Theo, Will and Matteo, and Skylar and Hannah. Obviously, Skylar had headed home with Maverick, but she'd texted me nonstop when she was able to convince Hannah to join them. Apparently, Hannah didn't have plans to go home to Newport for Christmas because she had family issues, so Skylar invited her to their family Christmas celebration.

And then Will and Matteo were great, too. Will loved Matteo and wanted to tell him soon no matter how complicated it could be. And maybe love was so apparent on both me and Will's faces that our dad could tell, too.

"I can just sense the love in the air," our dad said while he mixed shortbread cookie dough by hand wearing a ridiculous and unnecessary chef's hat. We had a tradition where the 3 of us would bake a shit ton of shortbread cookies and decorate them with frosting and sprinkles every Christmas Eve. Dad wafted his hand in the air. "I can even smell it!"

I rolled my eyes while I cut out Christmas tree shapes in sheets of dough. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Dad grinned. "Alexa! Play 'Last Christmas'!"

Will and I both groaned as 'Last Christmas' started playing through the apartment and dad immediately began to dance around the kitchen like a moron with the widest smile on his face, singing along.

"MY CHILDREN ARE IN LOVE, AREN'T THEY?" Dad yelled over the music.

"I don't know about both of us, dad!" Will yelled and shot me a discreet look. Of course, he couldn't admit he was in love. He hadn't even come out yet, though I knew he was planning on doing it soon. Tonight during dinner.

It was nerve-wracking for him. Will always had a great time making cookies and wearing his favorite festive Christmas sweater, singing along to the Christmas music dad turned on, and after dinner making us all watch his favorite claymation Christmas movie.

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