love at first stop | liskook

thirty four | lose or lose

A/N: No one ask me how long it took me to photoshop the pic above which I may add, is just A SIMPLE PHOTO THAT U JUST NEED TO PUT WORDS IN

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Jungkook

Based on the lack of messages from the Blackpink members, there has not been any significant improvements on Lisa's condition. After Lisa was admitted to the hospital, Jisoo-noona promised to update him with whatever is happening with her.

"She's going to be okay, she's going to be okay." I muttered like a continuous mantra to calm myself for the past four days.

Remembering the blood and Lisa lying helpless in my arms, my chest winced in pain. The familiar guilt that has been eating me up came back once again.

It's all my fault... Eunha may have a hand on it but... 

If I just protected her better... 

Three knocks on the door and I knew it was Namjoon-hyung. Bearing him no reply, he entered my room. Since I haven't come out of my spot in days, Namjoon tried to hide the surprise of how messy my dorm room has been.

Sitting beside me on my bed, he settled a hand on my shoulder, a comforting gesture he'd been doing for me lately.

"How have you been holding up?" Hyung started.

"I've been better." I replied. I ruffled my unwashed hair and slumped down further. Ever since Lisa got hospitalized, I couldn't think anything else.

"Look, Jungkook." Namjoon stood up and started to pick up the nearby trash. "Instead of locking yourself up here, why don't you go and visit Lisa."

Giving up on the garbage dump I have created in my room, Namjoon settled on leaning against the wall, the only other free space in my room.

"What happened to Lisa — It wasn't your fault." He remarked after noticing the guilty expression that have painted my face.

"But hyung, she got hurt because of me... If more people found out, there might be others coming after her." 

After hearing no response from Namjoon, I turned to him to find out he was looking at me contemplatively the whole time.

"That may be true... But that doesn't make it your fault, Kook" He crossed his arms. "We're not responsible for other people's actions. If we constantly stress over that, you'll never be truly happy."

After hearing his words, for the first time in days, the pressure in my chest lessened. Not having anyone else to talk to after the incident, I stayed alone in my own thoughts. These thoughts mostly consisted of me hating myself for what happened in Dajeon.

Constantly living for other people my whole life, I often neglected listening to what mattered to me. In my head, what I felt didn't matter, just as long everyone else was happy. 

I never knew that notion of mine will be challenged until I met her. Someone who truly gave colour to my life. If happiness was a person, that was her.

I'm in love with Lisa.

That's all that matters...

"I know how important she is to you, Jungkook." Namjoon went back to sit beside me. "I hate to see this ruined for you... So, go see her."

Making up my mind, I jolted out of my bed. 

"You're right hyung! Thank you so much, you're really the best!" I flung my arms around Namjoon and squeezed him very tight. Startling the older idol, his expression immediately changed to disgust after taking a whiff of his odour.