Destined

Flashback

I froze. In that instant, I couldn't move my feet, couldn't move my legs. Nothing.

He hasn't seen me yet, but they are walking towards where I am currently standing.

He is walking hand in hand with another girl. A different girl this time. Figures.

He was startled when he saw me scowling at them. He tried to avoid me by turning the other way. Oh but hell no. I won't let it. Not on my watch.

"Trying to avoid an old friend, Matteo?" I said with a smirk.

Matteo stopped walking and took a deep breath. As if preparing himself for confrontation or maybe even humiliation.

"Who is she, babe? Do you know her?" I rolled my eyes. Clearly the girl has no idea.

"Uhm, she's a previous colleague babe. Her name is Lizzie. Lizzie, this is my girlfriend Kathy." He was rambling, perhaps afraid of what I might say?

But i'm not stupid. I'm not gonna cause a scene here. I won't go to that level.

"Nice to meet you." The girl said. She looks decent enough.

"Nice to meet you too." I replied. There's no reason for me to be mad at her. On the contrary, I should pity her. She doesn't know what this douchebag is capable of.

I was fuming. How can he even keep up with his lies? Flashbacks of what went down between us came flooding my mind.

I was breathing heavily already, and I felt a lump in my throat. Hold it in Eli. Don't let him know you're affected.

"Well, I won't stall your date night any longer. I'll go ahead." I faked a smile for the girl but my eyes were shooting daggers at him. I waved goodbye and stormed past Matteo.

As soon as they were out of sight, my tears started to fall. Uncontrollably. They are now running down my cheeks and I can't stop it.

I hate him, I hate him so much! I ran towards the condo until I reach the safety of my unit.

...

I slammed my bedroom door and buried my head on the pillow crying. I can't stop crying. Once again, it is all because of him.

I thought I was doing well. I thought I was moving on. But seeing him with yet another woman today, was just too much.

I mean, I don't love him anymore and I definitely don't want to reconcile with him. If possible, I want to burn all roads and bridges with him. But seeing him today just reminded me that I wasted 3 years of my life trying to work things out with him.

...

I met him during my first year as an investment analyst. He was my colleague.

Back then, I thought he was the sweetest and the nicest guy in the office.

He would offer to help me with my research, eat lunch with me, wait up for me until I finish my shift, send snacks to my office from time to time, you know? Simple things like that.

It didn't take long for him to ask me out and eventually asked me to be his girlfriend.

I heard rumors about him, but I paid no attention to it. For me the important thing is how he is with me regardless of what other people say.

He was my first everything.

He was my first date, my first kiss, and the first guy I introduced to my parents.

We shared a lot of firsts together, except for one. Except for the most intimate part of a relationship. We did not have sex.

Sex for me is sacred. I want my first to be special. I didn't want to do it with just anyone. I want to be absolutely sure. I don't know why, but for some reason, it just did not feel right with him.

There are times when I feel like he is pressuring me to do it, and that will always make me angry and it will always be the cause of our fights.

If he really loved me, he should be willing to wait until i'm ready.

Apparently, he did not love me enough to wait for me. I found out three months ago that he was cheating on me for more than a year.

What's worse is he cheated on me with not just one woman, but with several. Four women to be exact. All of them were also our colleagues.

He said they were just one night stands and that it is me that he truly loved. Asshole right? But even then, I considered giving him another chance because I partly blamed myself for what happened. I felt responsible because I failed to give him what he needs. How naive of me.

But wait, that's not even the cherry on top. I finally decided to break up with him when I caught him and my younger sister making out.

Seeing him and my beloved sister together, is the worst feeling ever.

For one straight month I cried myself to sleep. I did not want to eat, I won't leave my room, and I don't talk to anyone but Mitch. She was the only person that I feel I can trust. She was always there for me, and I know her heart was breaking for me.

My sister tried to reconcile with me countless times, but I'm afraid we can never be back to how we were before. My parents tried to fix us, but knew that I needed time and space to regain my old self.

All that led me to my decision to quit work, move out of our house and start fresh. This is why I am here trying to connect with the world again.

...

It was 2 am when I finally stopped crying. I decided to have a hot bath to calm my nerves. I lighted my favorite scented candles too, for effect.

And as I lay there submerged in hot water, I promised myself. "This is the last time I will ever cry because of a man."

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the hot bath until the water got cold.

...