DEAR FUTURE HUSBAND [ ZONAH ]

letter eight

march 31, 2014

dear future husband,

i kind of forgot these letters existed. it's been almost a whole year since i wrote you a letter. life has been so chaotic since i last took out a pen and paper to write for you.

my parents divorced almost a year ago. i would like to say that i feel better about it, but that would be a lie.

i finished the ninth grade with daniel, jack and corbyn, and their girlfriends (obviously). they were there for me through worst point mentally.

but then they all went on vacations for the summer. which left me with nobody to talk to.

at the beginning of summer i fell into a mild depression, where i felt unmotivated to do anything. i wouldn't get out of bed to shower, only to go to the bathroom. mom would have to bring me food and sit there to make sure i ate. i didn't answer any of my friend's postcards because it hurt to see them all happy with their families.

their perfect families.

one day, i finally felt good enough to get up and shower. i went out to my favourite diner to get a milkshake, and saw these kids smoking outside. they asked me to join them so i thought, "what's the worst that could happen?"

so those kids wouldn't leave me alone, and i hung out with them all summer. every time i was with them they somehow convinced me to smoke. eventually, i got them to leave me alone, and i was able to not give into the temptation to smoke on my own.

this all happened within the span of two months. my friends then returned from their vacations and my life went back to normal. for the rest of the summer we hung out and went to a party or two, where i got drunk for the first time. so that was fun.

school started again and i got back into the same routine, waking up, go to class, lunch, more class, go home and do homework, eat dinner, sleep, repeat.

i stopped going to church and reading the bible like i would normally, and i just wasn't in a good mental headspace.

but recently i've been getting back into it and it's made me feel more secure and normal. i'm slowly coming to terms with my parents divorce and realizing that it's not all bad. besides, i did get 2 christmases this year.

sorry for being gone so long.

i love you♡

signed,

zachary dean herron xx