DEAR FUTURE HUSBAND [ ZONAH ]

letter fourteen

september 6th, 2015

dear future husband,

imagine making it through all four years of high school without having a single boyfriend. guess what? that's my goal this year.

i'm focussing on my grades so that i can hopefully get an academic scholarship to my dream school, massachusetts institute of technology. it's a prestigious school, and i'm interested in their architecture program.

this past summer was one of the best yet. i spent every day hanging out with my friends. none of them went on vacation because we all wanted to stay with fairity.

whether we were at the beach, the zoo or one of our houses, we were never separated. except for daniel, who had picked up a summer job to help support his new baby, and god that makes me so emotional because he's just such a good human.

we visited him as much as we could, and after he got off work he would always immediately join us, wherever we happened to be hanging out.

i would describe to you how good of a father he is, but i honestly don't know if i could even find the words. the way his face lights up the second he sees her is the most adorable thing i've ever seen. you can see in his eyes that he's mentally and physically exhausted from the lack of sleep he gets at night, but the second he sees his daughter everything else melts away.

and fairity. as much as she loves her mother, you can just tell that she's a daddy's girl. their relationship is the most pure thing i've ever witnessed. when he picks her up so carefully, almost like she's made of glass, she snuggles her little head closer into his chest.

no one can make her smile or laugh like him. he's the only one who can calm her down just by holding her.

liv tells me that he barely wants to sleep at night, because all he wants to do is sit beside her crib and keep her safe.

my point is,

if my future husband (aka you) doesn't love our children as much as daniel loves his, i. don't. want. it.

but i know in my heart that you'll be a truly amazing dad and i can't wait for that day to come.

now that i'm so focussed on school, i don't know if i'll be able to spend as much time with fairity as i would love to. so i soaked it all in this summer and made many amazing memories.

i'm praying for you tonight, praying that i'll be able to meet you sometime soon, praying that you're still out there, and that God hasn't ripped you away from me quite yet.

because i really do need you, and i think i need you more than i consciously realize.

as always, i love you

signed,

zachary dean herron xx