"May meeting tayo kay boss?" Tanong ko kay Nicole pagkakita ko ng calendar invite sa email.
"I also just received it." She shrugged nonchalantly.
Ako lang ba ang kinakabahan pag pinapatawag ng boss? Why do they act like it's nothing?
Our CEO is smiling while we took our seat. There are people from other department and we all have confused faces.
"You are all aware that our company has a training program right?"
Nagkatinginan kami ni Nicole.
Japanese company kami so every 3 years may mga pinapadala for training sa Japan. Meaning this year...
"You are all selected to go. Of course, it's not mandatory but it will be helpful if you want to pursue this line of career."
We exchanged glances. Others are smiling happily upon knowing they are selected. After all hindi lang basta gusto mo ay pwede kang pumunta. It's a thorough selection made by all the bosses.
I smiled at Nicole when she nudged me. I know this is a once in a lifetime offer but I don't really feel excited to be chosen.
Nung bagong pasok ako ay pinagdadasal ko na sana mapili ako because it will be a great experience pero parang hindi ako natutuwa ngayon.
I just got together with Arvic. Marami pa kami hindi nagagawa. Paano na 'yung out of town namin every other weekend? Hindi ko pa siya napagluluto ulit.
Pasimple akong siniko ni Nicole at pinandilatan ng mata. Hindi ko na narinig ang iba pang sinabi ng boss ko tungkol sa trip.
"All expense will be paid so no need to worry. I will have everyone's decision by end of this week."
The meeting ended.
I'm still dazed.
First thing I thought of is Arvic and last thing I thought of is still him. I don't know how to break this news to him.
Paano ko sasabihin sa kanya na aalis ako ng dalawang taon para magtraining sa ibang bansa? He's mature for his age and I know how his mind works, alam kong hindi niya ako pipigilan at hindi niya sasabihin kung ano talaga ang nararamdaman niya. He will just smile and tell me to enjoy.
I have yet to meet with Arvic so I met with Pepper first.
"Congrats, sis!" He clapped. "Alam mo dapat magcelebrate tayo. Ako nang bahala sa send off party mo."
"Hindi pa alam ni Arvic. Hindi ko alam paano ko sasabihin sa kanya."
"Nakakahalata na talaga ako. Naalala mo lang ako pag ganyan."
I looked at him and pouted.
"Edi sasabihin. Anong paano? I'm telling you, pag pinigilan ka niya hindi ka niya talaga mahal."
"Actually hindi ko naman kailangan pumunta. Marami pa naman pagkakataon sa susunod. It need not be this time, right?" I said but it sounds wrong even to me. Anyone can see that I'm only saying it just to convince myself.
"Marupok ka talaga, sis. Pag-ibig talaga kalaban mo sa lahat ng bagay noh? Well, since you're asking for my opinion then makinig kang mabuti." He held my hand and sighed. "If I were you pupunta ako. This is the chance for you to grow. Relationships need to grow too. Diba nga hardships made people stronger? Paano niyo malalaman kung hindi niyo susubukan? Besides, knowing Arvic Z, hihintayin ka nun at hindi 'yun susuko. Nahintay ka nga ng ilang taon, ano ba naman ang dalawang taon pa?"
Hindi ako sumagot.
"Ano na besh?" Tinawanan niya ako.
"Mamimiss ko kayo." Sabi ko sa maliit na boses.
"Japan ka lang naman pupunta, wag kang madrama! Ilang oras lang ang layo mo sa amin. Who knows, we might visit you."
Kaya ko 'to! Sasabihin lang naman kay Arvic. Simpleng simple "I need to leave for 2 years for training"
Pero hindi pala ganun kadali. Pinractice ko pa ng ilang beses pero pag kaharap na siya ay hindi ako makasalita.
I kept on fidgeting everytime he stares at me.
"What's wrong?" Tanong niya nang hindi na siya nakatiis.
"I have to tell you something."
"Hmm, okay. What is it?"
"Pero hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin."
"Then don't tell me. Nandito lang naman ako, you can say it when you're ready."
How can I tell him I'm leaving when he's like this to me? Hindi ko alam kung kaya kong tiisin ang dalawang taon na hindi siya makasama. Every word he says hits me right where it hurts. How dare you, Mandy. How dare I leave still?
So I gathered my courage and just told him.
Hindi siya nagsalita for a while. Tinignan ko lang siya also not knowing what to say.
"Galit ka ba?"
Umiling siya. "How long will you be gone?"
"Depends on the training, 2 years at least."
Arvic nodded and didn't say anything else.
"I'll stay if you don't want me to go. It's just training, no big deal."
He shut his eyes and pursed his lips. He turned to me when he opened them, reached for my hand and squeezed them. "Don't say it's no big deal. This is your career we're talking about. Hindi lahat ng tao nabibigyan ng ganitong pagkakataon. Don't think about me, think about you. Gusto mo ba 'to?"
I've been thinking a lot and I'd be lying if I say no because I wanted this since day 1 so slowly, I nodded.
"Then go, Mandy, I'm not here to control your life. I'm just here to support you. Do whatever you want to do, I'll give suggestions and cheer on you but I will never control you. Tandaan mo 'yan."
There are no words to describe how lucky I am with Arvic.
I also can't find the right words to say to him so I did what I know is better. I kissed him and told him I love him over and over.
