Twisted Perfection ~ Everlark

Rekindling.

Katniss' PoV:
Happy is when I see Peeta cooking through his kitchen window, when I know he's safe. Happy is when I see Peeta going outside for a walk into the meadow. Happy is when I see Peeta draw his curtains back, knowing that everyday he's managed to get out of bed. Happy is when I see Peeta.

It's been 2 weeks since he came back. We haven't spoken yet, but when he sees me through the window, he'll smile at me. Sometimes he'll wave. But today, when I wake up, I don't see his curtains being drawn back. They stay closed. And they stay closed for a few hours.

I hope he hasn't caved in.

Before I even have chance to go upstairs to get dressed, I am jolted by the sharp ringing of the phone. I potter over expecting anyone. It can't be Haymtich. He's never awake before dawn. And it can't be Gale. Even If it was, I wouldn't answer it.

When I pick it up, I am comforted by his unexpected voice.

"Hi Katniss." He says.

"Peeta?" I question, still a little surprised by his communicative voice. "Is anything the matter?" I ask.

"Some days I feel content and satisfied. Some days I feel okay. But, some days it feels impossible to take pleasure in anything because I'm afraid it could be taken away," He says. "But today feels so hard. Like I can't move; like I'm just stuck."

What? What he's saying is so random. I pause for a moment, trying to think what to say. I'm still in a small element of shock that he called me.

"So do I Peeta. I know how you feel. Even after a year of Prim dying, I feel paralysed. But, I want to tell you something. Can I tell you something?" I say through the phone.

"Yes." He replies seconds later.

"You're allowed to scream. You're allowed to cry. But, do not give up."

"Thank you Katniss...look, I know that we've not seen each other properly since I left, but can we go on a walk together?" He continues, "Just through the meadow?"

Before my mind is capable of clarifying what he's asked, all I can say is, "of course."

So, within 15 minutes, I'm dressed in some green khaki coloured trousers and a simple white shirt. Although it's May and usually spring is either dreary or beautiful, it's surprisingly a mild day. I don't feel the need for my fathers hunting jacket.

As I knock on the door of Peeta's house, I suddenly feel very nervous. This is the first time in four months since we've talked to each other. But at the same time, I can see his face properly. Stare into those beautiful blue orbs. I hear a thumping coming from the door. It must be his prosthetic leg.

I take a deep breath and when he opens the door, he smiles at first. For some sporadic and random feeling, I feel a craving twist for his scent. He consisted of a scent that represented freshly cut timber, like the damp forest after a rainy day; he smelt heavenly, like fresh-scented pine and honey. His aroma was like a drug to me, I couldn't get enough of it.

"I'm so glad you're home." I say.

"Me too." He says. But before he even makes it 5 steps off of his front porch, he envelopes me into a hug. I don't respond at first, from the shock because the last moment when I could feel his breath on me was his hands around my neck.

In that split second before his touch, every nerve in my body and brain is electrified. It's the anticipation of being together in a way that's more than words, in a way that's so completely tangible. I hug him back. It feels so amazing. Calming and electric. Comforting and appreciated. I bury my head into the crook of his neck, taking in every second of this warm embrace. A few moments pass by and he gently lets go.

"Did that loosen you up a bit?" I ask, smiling at him. I can't stop smiling. It's all I've been doing for the past 2 weeks.

"Yeah. I don't feel as stuck anymore." He says, smiling back, understanding my joke.

"Good, you ready?" I ask him.
He nods his head slowly and we start walking to the meadow.

On our way towards the fence that leads to the woods and then the meadow, he keeps on smiling at me. And I can't help but to smile back.

"So, how was it?" I blurt out. I don't even say 'the Captiol' because that name is associated with too many words of hatred for Peeta, and that's the last thing he needs.

"Mandatory, but only slightly kinder and more lenient." He says.

"Yes, I can imagine." I say. And I can. I can imagine them being very authoritative over Peeta. And him hating every second.

"Did you ever feel lonely?" I ask. What a stupid question to ask. I shake my head in denial of myself.

"I'm sorry, I'm prying. I wasn't thinking." I say.

But before I can slate myself more, he touches my hand and replies, "it's okay."

A few moments go by. We reach the woods. As I said before, it's a mild day and the sun has appeared. Flowers of the season tilt their smiling faces towards the sun while the sunlit clouds drift across the clear blue sky. Ponds are bathed in a golden hue by the gentle sunlight, the water in it as clear as crystal.

"There's my hunting things a few hundred yards from here. Do you want to help me?" I ask.

"Yeah, sure. Well, I don't know if I can be of any help with this." Says Peeta, lowering his hand and gesturing towards his prosthetic.

"Okay." I say laughing slightly.
We reach the rock which I know to be my hiding place and lift the sheet of tree bark from it, to reveal my bow, arrows and the spare game bag. I equip myself and hug the bow tightly. The arrows are secured tightly in a hollow and long cylinder tube.

As we walk side by side to try and catch anything, Peeta speaks up.

"I did feel lonely. But not as lonely as you think. It was the thought of you that kept me going." He says. And it was the thought of you that kept me going, I think. But I don't tell him that. Perhaps it's best to remain friends right now. 

"I'm glad I helped." I smile at him. He smiles at me. 

"Sometimes I felt like I was never good enough. I still feel it now. I just, I wish I could be a better me, for you." He says. My heart throbs at the sound of his words. 

"Peeta, you are good enough. Look, even when I have bad days and even when I wish so much that I join Prim and my father and Finnick and all the people I have ever loved in my life, it's the thought of you that keeps me going." I say. "I love all that you are, never forget that." 

"Really? You make me sound holy." He says, laughing slightly. 

"Really."