Are You Even Human?

[22] XOXOs

Trisha

It was all okay for awhile. The pain was still bearable by a lot, only because Xavier was living 1 hour away from me. Yeah, our packs were very close. Frankly I'd like it better without the pain and the constant break downs of me blaming myself on what had happened in this past year. Now, I spent most of my days watching sappy romance movies and then I would hit the gym or go for a run. Sometimes when Trey was very persistent he'd get me to hang out with him somewhere, like the pack's mall or the main streets, drinking iced pink lemonade because of the hot temperature of summer. But hey, who am I to complain? He always pays. Now that's an act you should always follow.

Today, however, I thought I'd go to my favorite place in the woods. It's an unknown beach. I don't think any human had ever came across it. My pack used to go there and have barbecues or something. It had always been fun. We never do that kind of stuffs anymore. It's always been a huge feast or a formal event. I miss it sometimes.

I picked out a ripped denim shorts and a graphic tank top to go and also a pair of bikini so that I could go swimming in the water. I quickly grabbed my bag and marched onto the front door where fresh air hit me like a ton of bricks.

I decided to run on my human form to go to the beach. It gives me more freedom to think, after what had happened in these few days I'm pretty dang sure that I needed the freedom. The beach was a neutral land between my pack's and Xavier so both sides can go there. I believe we used to go there for the meetings of both packs. At least that's what my Dad told me, he told me that my mom would be the one to organize these kinds of things.

When I arrived at the beach it was safe to say that I wasn't the only one there. A certain brown haired guy was there, casually looking at the very blue water. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. What in the world is he doing here?

Slowly but surely, I walked to him looking at the pool of sand that seemed to always shift on every step I take. The sound of water clashing to clear white sand and the breeze of the wind somehow calmed me. The smell of salt overwhelmed me as I neared him. I didn't say anything. I kept my mouth in a tight line as I lowered myself to sit next to him. So that's how it's going to be.

I knew that he knew I was there, sitting right beside him. I sighed in the content because the pain in my chest had finally disappeared. I swear the pain was starting to grow on me.

To my surprise, Xavier broke the silence, "You know, I never really did thank you for taking care of my gash."

I didn't respond for a couple of minutes. I was thinking of the right answer. The one that would somehow make sense but in a simple way. Does that even make sense?

"You're my mate. Your pain is my pain, besides I don't think I can ever live it down if I didn't come to you that day."

Another round of silence.

"Listen Trisha, I'm so sorry for doubting you. I never meant to," he apologized.

"It's okay. I understand."

"No, it's not okay!" he exclaimed,"The fact that I actually doubted you, my mate, is seriously unacceptable and if you hate me now, I completely understand."

The realization hit me like a bus. He thought that I hated him? Forming the idea in my mind seemed to barbaric to believe. "I don't hate you. I don't think I can," I said saying the last part as a whisper.

I thought I should bring up something that is less heavy so that's exactly what I did,"So how's life?"

He chuckled at my futile attempt to bring up a cheery conversation. "Not good."