Red and Violent ✔️

Chapter 25: Opening up to you

STARTING TODAY I'LL POST 2 CHAPTERS PER DAY.

I feel like it's going slow so I'll post 2 per day.
Thank you for you never fail to support me. Thank you for your comments and your votes and giving me the energy to actually do all this.
KARENthebtslolfan
ElisabethParra
PanuOT7
btsbtsbtsbtsyo
jungkookdongpyo

Enjoy reading the coming chapters! This will get dodgy hehe **evil laugh** Read away babies!
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Brazil was a rocky road. You tried keeping Jungkook off social media as much as possible. You held his hands through his tough times. You'll always cherish the conversations you had as you went through this scandal. You remember you both sitting on the floor as Jungkook wasn't able to sleep. You were working on a bomb when you heard him smacking his tongue and murmuring.

"Honey?" You asked putting the laptop on your bedside table.

"Y-yes?" He muttered. You got closer and looked him in the eyes. He tried to avoid eye contact at first when he met your eyes you felt his shoulders relax.

He sighed like he held his breath for hours on end. You smiled and, as always, your smile was contagious. You never fail to make each other smile just by smiling yourselves.

You sometimes find yourself beaming just by seeing, at the corner of your eyes, him grin at his phone. He didn't wait for you to ask what's wrong. He flown out with all the streams of words he held.

"I find it hard to love myself, sometimes— most of the time, actually. I find it hard to love and cherish who I am right now when I have to be thinking about who I must be by the next week. I never live for the now. I always live for the next step. I always live for others. I love our fans and my love for them consumes me sometimes that I forget to sit back and take a look at myself. I know it sounds crazy, but, sometimes I want to look at myself in the mirror and don't have to look at my make up or hair. I just want to look at my bare face and look deep at and into my self. I haven't lived spontaneously either. I always tried to. But these rooms have no space for spontaneity. These rooms don't leave room for self-love. These rooms just suck everything out when you're alone. It feels lonely in the sea of people and it scares the fuck out of me. The people I am living for, the people I devote my being to are too close, yet too far from reach. These rooms get too cold when you're alone." He smiled through his broken eyes and words, "you came and made them a lot warmer, now." He sniffed as he tried to vend off the tears.

You scooted your ass next to his and held his face in your hands. You planted a quick kiss on his lips. You nodded ever-so-slightly to tell him to speak again.

"I don't want to lose myself in all of this. It's hard to know myself in all of this, to be more precise. The first sentence can make it sound like I know myself, own her. In fact, I neither know who I am nor own that dubious identity." He paused, feeling overwhelmed by sharing all this in just minutes.

He looked at you feeling ashamed of all these thoughts and emotions. He had this sound telling him that you'll see him as a depressed emo boy who's too dark.

All you were thinking about was how he resonated with you. You felt the words flowing through your psyche. You live those words every single day without being able to let them out.

His voice silenced all the clamor of your busy lives and created a dome of fondness and peace. You shed some tears. The tears were pushing against your walls like a river pushes against a weak dam.

You just stayed there and held him. You felt, at this moment, that you want to stay next to him for longer than you ever anticipated you'd want to.

He knew your silence meant acceptance. Your silence meant that you held this part of him deep inside of you. This part of him will cultivate you both. This part of him will slowly snatch at part of yours. This part of him is capable of demolishing your exhausted walls.

Those were mostly how you spent your times in brazil and Chile until everything subsided. There were no rumors that involved you both or any general suspicion of a relationship.

This ship has sailed safely and you two finally closed in on the two-months mark. You two didn't realize how fast time went by. You were always busy. You only met when you're about to embrace each other to sleep. You grew accustomed to the fact that he'll be there at the end of the day.

It felt like stealing a chance at love inside ambiguous hotel rooms that hold no significant meaning to you both. Though the rooms didn't hold significance, you found all the worth in each other. Jungkook could sleep by your side hugging you by the waist as you work on your edits and your projects and that would be the most you do together through a day.

South America was done. Everything was settled. Run episodes got released. You hit one media record after the other, revolutionizing their Instagram. You changed the layout and started a professional, yet, close-to-the-heart content. You were able to capture the best pictures. For they didn't laugh at the camera but at you, because of you, for you. Two months may sound like a short time, but it was all of you, together, at most times possible. You got too comfortable. You got too fond of each other. Two months down, two to go, and you aren't aware that by that time, your contract expires. Their proximity monopolized you. This will put you into a transaction you'll have to lose at so you could win.