Wistful

Chapter 24 - We'd Make A Baby For Sure

(Nixon's POV)

Fucking rage.

It's all I have been feeling for the past week.

Fucking insane rage.

At Jake.

I want to kill him for what he did to Kadynce.

He deserves to be dead.

He not only beat Kadynce for the past six years, but he raped her... he did the worst thing you could possibly do to a woman— or anyone, for that matter.

I want to kill him.

No wonder he thinks that Jase is his, he thinks because he forced himself on to Kadynce, and got her pregnant that in some sick and twisted way, Jase is only his. He's fucking disgusting.

Shit, because he did that, Jase should only be Kadynce's.

And it kills me that I can't get to him, I can't find him, and I can't do anything about how I'm feeling. I understand that Kadynce has dealt with this for almost four years now, but I just found out, so it feels like it just happened.

And that's where my rage comes in.

But Jake isn't the only one that has me raging.

I'm mad at life.

And at myself.

I'm mad at myself for not being there to protect Kadynce as I promised her so long ago. Mad at myself because I hounded Kadynce to know why she never wanted Jase only for it to blow up in my face as she stood in front of me and her family and confessed her deepest secret.

I felt like shit.

I feel like shit.

I am a piece of shit.

I yelled at her...

She deserves better than how I treated her that night, but she had me so worried when I couldn't find her. And then I got so angry when I found out that she was okay, there was no reason for me to worry. I took that anger out on her, and I shouldn't have.

Even though she said it was okay, I still feel like I really fucked up.

We've been doing so good since that night we made sweet love together, but I ruined it. I should have listened to my gut and told her about Jake coming back, but I didn't. And I should have told her about my old gang targeting, but I haven't told her that either and it's fucking killing me.

"Alright, here is your estimate." The contractor walked back over to me and handed me a piece of paper he ripped from his clipboard. He had already estimated the cost of everything that I needed to be fixed in my shop.

Of course, the customers' cars are whole other issues. I already had a car detailer come by to asset them.

Ugh.

Reading the bottom of the paper, it read; $313,596.76.

"Jesus." I breathed.

Thank God, my insurance is able to cover the entire cost of the repair, plus the customers' cars. They also worked out a way to cover loss of income and payroll. So, my guys are out but are still getting paid.

He gave me a sympathetic look. "Yeah..." He trailed off. "Someone really did a number on this place."

"Tell me about it." I sighed.

Holding the clipboard out to me, he held his pen out. "Just sign on that bottom line and we can start getting this place in order tomorrow."

After signing my name, I got the paperwork I need from him to fax to my insurance. This is the paperwork that my insurance requires in order for them to send me the money I need to pay the contractors and the detailer.