Annalise

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Payment

After that night, dad told me everything. Kung paano siya nalulong sa sugal at alak, dahilan ng pagkakaroon niya ng malaking utang sa mga Fuetebella pagkatapos nilang maghiwalay ng aking ina. He caught my mom cheating, the reason why they got separated. My childhood heart didn’t understand it by that time, hindi ko alam na may nangyayari palang ganon. All I know is how they often fight in the middle of the night thinking I was already asleep.

Part of me is telling that it wasn’t true. My mom wasn’t capable in doing that. I know her. She loves me, she loved her family. I was a child back then, yes, but I felt it. Alam ko may dahilan siya!  If only she’s here to tell me everything. To explain everything! Sana ay hindi niya hinarang ang sarili niya para sa kaligtasan ko. Sana ako nalang ang nawala!

“No. That’s not true.” Iling ko habang naglalandas ang mga luha sa pisngi. Hindi mamagagawa ni Mama yon.

“That’s the truth Anne!” he told me with lazy eyes.

“Don’t call me that!” I trailed off while wiping my tears.That name reminds me of her. Siya lang ang tanging tumatawag sa’kin ng ganon bukod pa kay Liam. I hate it when someone’s calling me by that name, my father is no exemption.

My head is throbbing.

My mom’s always been a good mother to me, is she capable of doing such thing?

“Mahal kita Annalise, I don’t want to hurt you kaya hindi ko nagawang sabihin sa’yo ito noon.” his voice filled with regret.

“Really? Mahal mo ako kaya pala minsan lang kitang nakasama sapol nong mamatay si mama. Inuna mo ang sugal at bisyo mo tapos ngayon ako ang pambayad mo? Ganun ba yon Pa? G-Ganun ba ang pagmamahal?” I fired at him, I can’t contain myself from saying what’s in my heart for a very long time. The anger and pain I have been keeping inside.

I grow up alone. Ni wala akong naging karamay kundi ang sarili ko. Hindi ko naranasan ang magkaroon ng pamilyang masasandalan. Tanging mga tauhan sa bahay ang nagsilbing pamilya sa’kin.

“Yaya, dumating na po ba si Papa?” tanong ko sa tagapag-alaga ko nang makarating ako galing school. Kakakuha ko lang ng aking grades, ako ang nanguna sa section namin I wanted to show it to my dad tiyak na matutwa siya.

“Hindi pa hija.” She answered.

I pout.

“Kailan po ba siya uuwi? Hindi pa ba tumatawag makakapunta kaya siya sa recognition ko?” I asked sadly hope is in my eyes. Minsan lang umuwi si papa dito sa Cavite may bahay kami sa Makati doon siya nakatira. Every month he visited me one or two times depends on how busy he was in his work. Pagtinatawagan ko naman ay lagi siyang busy sa trabaho o di kaya ay nasa meeting kaya kahit gusto ko siyang tawagan ngayon, hindi pwede baka maistorbo ko siya sa ginagawa niya. Hihintayin ko nalang kung kailang siya uuwi.

“Wag ka na malungkot Annalise kami nila Ate Berta ang pupunta gusto mo gumawa ulit kami ng banner para sa’yo.” Ngisi naman ng isa naming kasambahay.

They’re the one who’s been there for me. Helping me and providing my needs. I know it’s their job, they are paid for it but atleast I receive warmth in them better than my family. Lagi nilang pinapaalala sakin na dapat kong intindihin ang aking ama dahil para sa ikabubuti ko ang lahat ng ginagawa nito. Tinatak ko iyon sa aking musmos na isipan. Pero ngayon kahit anong pilit ko sa sarili ko ay hindi ko pa rin maintindihan. Bakit kailangan niyang gawin ito sa sarili niyang anak?
For all my life I did everything to make him proud. Kahit pa ang kapalit nito ay ang mga bagay na gusto ko at magpapasaya sa’kin. I treasure him because he’s the only family I have.

The moment I lost my mom I promised myself I would treasure everything I have specially my family. Hindi natin alam kong kailan sila mawawala o kukunin sa atin kaya habang andyan pa sila ay pahalagahan natin ang mga araw na kasama sila.

Money is nothing to a happy family. Kung papapiliin ako sa dalawa I would rather choose family. Money come and go, family stays forever. Money will make you happy at first pero kapag nagtagal ito mismo ang pwedeng maging dahilan ng kalungkutan mo.

Having a happy family will make one heart contented. But for me, having a happy family is just a dream. I wish I could go back and change everything.

“I have no choice!” he answered sadly. “What I did is the only thing I know to protect you.”

“Protect me from what?” I asked, sarcasm is in my tone.

“From the people I have debt with…” pag amin niya, nakatungo siya habang sinasabi iyon.“Marami akong mga naging kalaban noong inaabot ko palang ang posisyong ito.” I stared at him blankly pinipigilan ang pagtulo luha. Atleast now I know he cared. Ang boung akala ko ay wala akong halaga sa kanya.

Ngunit hindi pa rin nito maaalis ang katotohanang ginamit niya akong pambayad sa utang niya.

I am a fucking payment!

  “Masisira ang pangalan ko kapag lumabas sa publiko ang mga kinasangkutan ko noon. Alam mo kung gaano ko ito pinaghirapang abotin.” He said pleadingly.

“Yeah, you abandoned me in pursuing that.” Sarkastikong turan ko.

“I-I’m sorry...I’m forever be sorry for that.” Malungkot niyang saad.

“Kailan niyo pa ito napagkasunduan?” tanong ko.

He stared at the glass of alcohol on the table.

“The day I lost my millions in the casino.” Pag amin niya.

“So I am your payment.” panunuya ko.

“You’re not.” Agap niya, bahagyang nagulat sa sibabi ko.  “I offer them my money but they refused. This is what they want.”

“But why?” nagtataka kong tanong. I know my father has a lot of assets now. Bukod sa katungkulan niya sa gobyerno ay maganda ang takbo ng negosyo namin. Kayang kaya niyang bayaran kahit magkano pa ang utang niya sa mga Fuentevilla.

“They want our names and connections. Malinis ang pangalan natin sa business industry at sa gobyerno that will benefit their company. That soon be yours too pagkinasal na kayo your fiancée will manage it he’s the heir anyway.” Litanya niya.

So, kaya siya pumayag dito dahil doon? I don’t even know kung gusto ngang pagkakasal ng lalaking iyon. Based on my incounter wih him last night ay hindi siya rin siya sang ayon dito.

“Pa, I don’t even think the guy likes the idea.”

“He does. In fact siya ang nagsuggest nito sa kanyang ama.”

I almost laugh. Why would he?

Based on the way he stared at me it was the opposite.

Was it all because of the business?

Of course it was.

Sinong tanga ang maniniwalang gusto niya ako, dba?