cigarette ;; DISCONTINUED

thirty-nine

39: Princess and pup

Jennie pov
Taehyung's hand brushed through my hair and then rested on the back of my head.

His other arm was under my head, letting me rest on it like a pillow.

It was late in the afternoon and we were laying on his bed, saying nothing as we just enjoyed each other's company.

I had a hard day behind me, working in the studio as we had recorded our part of a collaboration.

I was tired and I urgently needed to sleep but the longing for Taehyung was bigger.

"May I ask you something?", I asked into the quiet. He nodded and opened his eyes, looking right into mine.

"How did you come up with the name 'Pup'?", I asked.

"What?" A small, almost teasing, smile built upon his lips. I furrowed my brows.
How could he not know?

"On my phone. You're saved under that name."

"Yeah, but that wasn't me. You were the one who did that."

"Wait really?"

He nodded and closed his eyes again. From the corner of my eye, I could see him raise one brow.

Tilting my head in confusion, I thought about it. I thought about the origin of that nickname and why exactly I chose it.

And after minutes of thinking, in which Taehyung patiently waited, I finally realized.

That pet name I had saved him under was the one my mother had called my father back when they were in their youth.

"Before my parents got married my mom used to call my dad pup. I remember them telling me stories about it", I mumbled, a smile growing on my lips.

Taehyung laughed and pulled me closer so he could rest his forehead against mine.

"So what you're saying is that when saving my number in your phone, the first name you came up with was something so endearing to your parents?"

I laughed and tried to push him away gently. "Shut up."

His hand on my back pressed me closer to him until there was almost no space left between us.
As I felt his warm breath hit my face, I closed my eyes.

"Do you wanna know why I call you princess?", he asked and I hummed in response.

"Because from the moment I saw you, I knew you'd be mine one day. You'd be mine and I would treat you like a princess because that's what you deserve."

My heart fluttered at his words and I felt my cheeks heating up. For not being a man of words, Taehyung really knew what to say to fluster me.

I whispered another "Shut up" before kissing his lips gently.

"Well, if that's cleared up now, can I ask you something?", Taehyung added, accentuating the I.

I nodded and opened my eyes. For a moment he hesitated before looking straight into my soul.

"What was the reason for your and Jongin's breakup?"

A pained grin built up on my face as I sat up and turned my head away from him.
With an aching heart, I remembered how I myself had broken my own heart.

At the time Dispatch had decided to expose me and Jongin, everything had already started to crumble down.

He had been so busy and couldn't find the time to see me.

And when Dispatch released the article along with pictures, it had seemed as if he didn't even have time to text back properly.

There had been times where I had asked him to meet up, to which he responded that he was busy.
There had been times where I asked him if I could come over, to which he responded that he was too tired.
There even had been times where I just asked how he's been and if he'd eaten well, to which he didn't even care to respond.

Our birthdays had then passed by, which both of us spent alone. He hadn't even sent a text, congratulating me.

It was destroying me on the inside and it took me weeks to get over my own ego and do something.

I knew we couldn't continue like that. So the only way we could save our relationship and find back together was by talking about everything unsaid.

At least that's what I had thought.

Wanting to save our relationship was like wanting to save a sinking ship. It wasn't possible.

No matter how hard I had tried, saving an almost one-sided relationship could never end well.

"So I went to his apartment, knowing that he was at home", I continued the story, "I rang his doorbell multiple times and even called him. Yet he didn't open the door."

I sighed. Countless times I had asked myself where I had gone wrong.

"And when I was back home he just texted me a simple 'what?'. I told him that I couldn't keep going like this and ended up breaking up over text."

Countless times I had asked myself if I just wasn't good enough or if I overlooked something.

Countless times I had asked myself if I did something that angered or even hurt him.

But never had I got an answer to my questions.

"Jongin never even replied so I just deleted his number", I bitterly added.

I never found out why exactly everything had to end this way. I never found out why he chose to act like that and I never found out why I had to suffer like that.

"What an asshole", Taehyung commented before pulling me back into his warm embrace.

"From now on he's not going to hurt you. Ever again. I'll make sure of that."

I chuckled, feeling his hand caress the back of my neck.

Having him around was a good thing. He made me feel happier and safer.
But at the same time, I was scared to fully give in to him.

I didn't want to hurt him the way Jongin had hurt me. I was scared of neglecting him and pushing him away.

I knew that he was waiting for me and I was scared I'd make him wait for too long.

Breaking his heart was the last thing I wanted to do. And with that thought I buried my face in his chest, inhaling his scent.

I would talk to Jongin.
I would talk to him and ask him to stop, ending our connection and everything we ever had, once in for all.

For Taehyung's happiness and for mine.
Because that's whom I choose.

It was Taehyung, and from that moment on I knew that it would always be Taehyung.