Lost in Brazil

bukan Update-an

Gak tau ya penting atau enggak, yang jelas ini bukan update-an, ini Cuma sekedar curhatan. Yg males baca ya terserah sih…

Hello everyone…

Idk if it is important or not just… it was a late night, when I wrote this. Probably all these words would affect for the next chapter of this fanfict. I don’t know how to begin this, it is just so hard on me… I mean, I’m sick. Not literally sick… but lately I felt like I was being haunted by all my college projects, yeah end of the year always the worst part. I thought the worst part has already happened on me, but finally I realized, the ‘real’ worst part hasn’t come yet, the worst part here isn’t about all my assignment. It is about my feeling~. Soon or later the worst part of being this kind of girl would have a thousand pain−deep inside. It is just about time, and times wrong for make them today. And the pain caused me in trouble, I am weak.

Last night I saw a picture on Jordi’s instagram. Found him took a pict with a beautiful girl whom I have no idea about her. Don’t ask me how close the space between them. People who saw the picture could make any assumption about who the girl is. Probably she is just his sister− but Jordi has no sister, he only has one brother and that is David, and of course the girl isn’t her brother’s wife either. I know David’s wife anyway. The pict only said “Con mi Ali” without any emoticons. I wonder who is Ali ?, or in Spain Ali has a meaning as cousin or nephew or fella or anything. A Barca fan once posted the photo and said “Jordi Alba with a friend”− well, it is only friend. But the friend is a girl… so means that Ali is his girl friend.

For about 12 hours I ensure myself that the girl is nothing for Jordi. I stalked Barcastuff ( a fansite of FC Barcelona on twitter ) repeatedly, desperately in hope that the fansite would give any explanation about the photo. But yes… nothing happened. While every Barca players already have some pictures of their holiday time in every country around the world.

Eventually…

Yes…

I took a very deep breath and

Yeah…

I’m not okay anymore.

You guys must be know what it is

It is just hard for me to accept someone who accompany me during this year until I made 2 fanfictions of him, has a girlfriend. Just remember…

I dedicated this fanfiction for him only, and unfortunately he made a mess with it. So, I don’t know when I should continue updating the next chapter, I mean… I just want to stop for a while, till my heart found its strength. I made this for so long, till Ella would have a baby. And… T.T

Being a fangirl of a football club is totally different if I compare to when I was a fangirl of Korean boyband. In football people do not care with whom a football player has a relationship, just few people who concern about their life. it would be difficult for Korean artist who has a boy or girlfriend. It will influence their career and broke every girls heart. This is true… I was there, I already felt it a couple years ago.

I thought Jordi is different, I thought he was helping me.

I know he doesn’t belong to anyone, but still…. I felt like I own him when I wrote this story. Now he bounds on someone, and I don’t know what to say.

This isn’t good as the closing of 2014.