𝑅𝑒𝒹 𝒮𝓉𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈-ᴄʜᴇɴʟᴇ

About Now~18

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If you knew the places that I've been?
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Chenle sat at the edge of his bed, endlessly staring into oblivion as he rested his chin on his palm.

What the fuck did I just do?

Chenle exhaled sharply, before falling on his back and staring at the ceiling instead. He had found work impossible as his mind raged elsewhere, and he found the existence of soulmates rather troublesome.

He barely even knew her, yet the stupid bond had her constantly racing through his mind, no matter how much he had tried to block her out. She was only going to get in the way, and he knew that, but his efforts to keep her out of his head proved futile, and he was unable to fight the bond. He couldn't sever their tie, nor could he physically live without her, which wasn't in his best interest.

Whenever he saw her, or even thought of her, a unfathomed feeling made his heart erratic and crazed, and it seemed to infect his brain with a disgusting, unknown affection towards the girl, and he hated it.

Gosh, and he said that cheesy line earlier.

Just thinking about it made his ears burn, and he let out an anguished huff as the memory shot through his brain on replay.

'You don't know what you're getting yourself into'

Chenle shivered in embarrassment at his own words, and he let out a subtle groan of regret as he turned into his side, his lips contorted into a pout.

"I'm so stupid," He grumbled to himself, sighing miserably.

"Glad we agree on something," Jaemin uttered, and Chenle sat straight up, ready to fight.

Chenle was tensed, and his fists were raised in surprise, which Jaemin lightly chuckled at from the doorway. Relaxing as much as he willingly could, Chenle rolled his eyes, glaring at the boy.

"You're lucky I didn't have my gun- I would've shot you," Chenle admitted, and Jaemin scoffed.

"Wow, I really feel the love," Jaemin uttered sarcastically, "I'll knock next time."

Chenle nodded, and his eyes lingered on the blue-haired boy, awaiting for Jaemin to explain his reason for being there. Gesturing with his hand to prod Jaemin, and a small smile illuminated Jaemin's cheeks at his strangely humorous impatience.

"What's your plan?" Jaemin cooed, and he walked fully into the room, closing the door behind him.

In all honesty, Chenle didn't know how to answer. He knew what he meant, however, and it was Rin, always Rin- the one who refused to heed his instructions to leave his headspace. His other half, his perfect captive, and his beautiful soulmate.

A subtle sigh fell from Chenle's lips, and he left the question unanswered as Jaemin took a seat at his desk, observing his face.

"You feel it, don't you?" Jaemin assessed, and Chenle's eyes pulled towards him.

Automatically understanding his meaning, Chenle's hand subconsciously crept up to his chest, where it rested over his swirling heart.

"Why are you hesitating?" Jaemin continued, and Chenle's eyes easier back up towards the boy.

"I need to work, can we talk about this lat-"

"You haven't been able to work all day, you're not going to get anything done," Jaemin pointed out, and Chenle pursed his lips together.

Chenle's eyes narrowed at Jaemin, and he let out a heavy sigh, his jaw clenched at the inconvenience of this conversation.

"Fine, I don't need her to stress about, all I need to do is run my business," Chenle uttered, and Jaemin rolled his eyes.

"That's not it," Jaemin breathed, and Chenle's gaze suddenly dropped, "Chenle, I know you best around here, and I know damn well that work isn't the only reason."

Chenle said nothing, and merely stared at his hands, his mind racing in a tangle of thoughts. Somewhere, somewhere in that intricate mind of his held an ocean of reasons that she shouldn't love him, or so much as Look his way.

Chenle wasn't good with feelings, and he could never be there for her emotionally, he was a murderer, a kidnapper, a horrible person, and he didn't know how to properly love, nor was he ready to try.

Rin was a bright person, she used to smile a lot, but she's barely even grinned ever since she was titled his captive. He could tell- blame it on the soulmate bond, but he could tell. He couldn't make her happy, and he knew that damn well.

Chenle wasn't the kind of guy that cared about happiness much, however. He wasn't happy, no, and he thought he was just fine. Besides, his job ruined lives, not improved them, and he was content with that.

But that wasn't it.

There was more, so much more.

"You're afraid, is that it?" Jaemin cooed, and Chenle's eyes shot up towards him.

"Don't." Chenle ordered in a threatening tone, and Jaemin's eyes narrowed.

"Scared to fall," Jaemin mindlessly continued, and Chenle's jaw locked in place.