𝑅𝑒𝒹 𝒮𝓉𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈-ᴄʜᴇɴʟᴇ

Jealousy~54

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If you knew the beds that I've been in?
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Chenle wasn't the type to get aggravated by a few carefully chosen words. He was all business, and emotions could tangle a noose around your throat. Many had tried to provoke Chenle before, especially to save their own lives, and none had succeeded in such a harrowing task, yet Chan had managed it.

How? Bad timing.

If he had said anything else, Chenle would have remained calm and would've threatened him, maybe, because those attempts on Chenle were quite boring to him, so he usually wanted to move on quickly.

But as of now, his words hit too close to home.

He was struggling with those thoughts himself, and he could tell- he could see that he was gaining the ability to grant mercy- something he never thought he'd be able to do.

That might not sound bad- kind, even, but when you're in a gang, mercy and kindness, if distributed plentifully, will most definitely mean certain death.

Calling someone soft in this deadly game of bullets was the worst insult that one could hurl at Chenle.

It meant that he couldn't ensure NCT Dream's safety, that he was weak, vulnerable, and, worst of all, sparing.

It also meant that he cared.

He cared about Rin, cared about living, and cared about the value of life.

To be successful in his life, you have to let go of all of those things. If you cared about pitiful things like your life, you won't be able to risk it as freely, which could get you killed. Hell, for Chenle, the huge gang leader, even walking down the street could result in his demise, but you can't let yourself live in fear- you die that way.

Calmness is how you survive, always.

If you're panicking, you won't be able to think straight, which limits your ability to think up a way to evade death, and it just doesn't look good. Sick people- like the people Chenle deal with constantly- will feed off of your fear, enjoying it, and will want more of it, which will result in a gruesome murder.

If you spared the wrong person, they might come back to haunt you, and try to slaughter your gang for revenge, or just for the hell of it.

Being vulnerable placed a giant target on Chenle's back, and anyone who so much as thought about gaining some merit will try to steal your life away in a second.

In his line of work, if you still felt weak emotions like pity and empathy, you won't be able to sleep at night. You'd feel guilt, for you must kill dozens in Chenle's life, and guilt could drive you insane, pushing you off the edge into, yet again, death.

Whether self-inflicted or otherwise, but you will find death.

So as he pointed his firearm at Chan, he knew that it was a horrible idea, but he didn't seem to care- itching to shut the boy up, and to force him to stop spewing truths he wished were lies.

His bold, empty front was crumbling, and he could confidently blame a single, perfect person for it.

Rin.

Whenever she smiled, whenever she spoke, Chenle wanted to melt into a puddle, and whenever he so much as looked at her, his heart did backflips within his chest.

Unrecognizable emotions like the ones she prevoked into him were dangerous, and, like most things in his life, could lead to his demise.

Now, he cared for his initially worthless life- Rin was tied to him in ways he wished she wasn't, meaning she would die if he did.

Now, he was trying to spare Jeongin because of her- because he couldn't bear to see her break, and for her sadness to be caused by him, even if Jeongin or the rest of his gang did decide to seek merit or revenge.

Now, he was vulnerable- his heart was on his sleeve, displayed for everyone to see, and for everyone to stab.

He knew Chan was right, and he couldn't stand the thought of it.

Fucking soulmate bond.

He hated it, and Chan could tell, using Chenle's constant frustration against him, and turning the already-tense tables.

Despite being held at gunpoint, Chan's sly smirk only grew, however, he had quite the ace up his sleeve. A concealed gun was pressed into his palm, aimed straight at the very oblivious Rin from beneath the table, eyes staring down the long, dark tunnel that protruded from Chenle's weapon.