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Chapter 29

Ok, I believe YoursSincerelyLarry is actually trying to kill me!!

Harry's pov

Like all babies do, Matthew woke everyone up about six times throughout the night. I let Louis stay and sleep while I tried calming Matthew down. I gave him a bottle a few times then once or five hundred times I changed his nappy, that certainly was a new experience. I had no idea babies were this much work, I knew the gist of nappy changings and feedings but I had no idea it happened so often.

I held little Matthew in my arms and rocked him as I sat on the floor in-between the bunks. I felt bad that he still did not have any clothes, but I did my best to keep him wrapped up in his yellow blanket. I realized how little I knew about babies, even if I read all the baby books in the world I would never have Mother's intuition. How was I supposed to keep this tiny thing alive if I couldn't even keep his mother alive - No, Harry! Don't think that way.

But, it's true

No, it's not!

My internal battle with myself didn't help my aching heart in any way. I started crying again when I watched Matthew closely. I cried silently so that I wouldn't wake anyone again. This was Audrey's job, she was supposed to be his mummy and she would have known what to do. I hadn't the slightest idea of what to do. The only comfort I have is that I have Louis in this too. But, I still wish Matthew's mum was here. Although, I could probably pass as his mother, my hair is long enough; I should probably get it cut since it comes down to my shoulders.....nah, I like it.

I stared down at Matthew, a few tears still falling down my cheeks. He opened his eyes and looked up at me. His eyes were dark like Audrey's, full of wonder and curiosity. There was no doubt he was her son, he resembled her so much. He seemed so curious about me, he must be wondering why he's seeing me and not his mummy. "I'm wondering the same thing, Matthew." I whispered to him, leaning down and kissing his nose. "I love you."

*

Richard, deciding to be a decent human being for once, canceled the show for that day. He and I went into town to meet with people who could arrange the funeral for that day. Luckily, they were very kind and did not charge a huge amount of money. Richard's sob story helped with that I'm sure, even though it was true, he did it to save himself a few dollars.

This town was a lot smaller than the others we had been to so, word got around quickly. A few elderly women practically dragged Louis and I to the local church once they saw us with Matthew. These women must have either been incredibly fast at crocheting or just had random blankets, hats, and clothes lying around, waiting for a baby. I stood by and watched them all coo over Matthew and give their condolences to Louis. I felt a little left out, but they couldn't know that the baby was Louis's and mine, they would surely kick us out. One woman nearly screamed when she realized Matthew had nothing on but a nappy and one of Louis's shirts wrapped loosely around him along with his blanket and ran home urgently to get some old baby clothes her children had grown out of. One elderly woman brought a bag filled with knitted blankets, socks, hats, and clothes. She told Louis that her grandchild was stillborn and she wanted little Matthew to have the things she had made. What really stunned me was after she hugged Louis and kissed Matthew, she came to me and wrapped her arms around my neck to squeeze me tightly. I was shocked because none of the other women in the church noticed me, but she did. "You take care of them now, you hear." She whispered in my ear, my eyes widened and glossed over. She pulled back and kissed my cheek, "Here, wear it always." She removed a silver cross necklace from her neck and slipped it over my head. She patted the cross that rested on my chest then she walked away; but as I watched her I was suddenly distracted by Matthew crying and turned away. When I looked back she was gone - she couldn't have simply vanished, or maybe she could. My mother had told me before that there are people on this earth masquerading around as angels, I had a feeling that woman was one of them. By the time we had to leave the church to attend Audrey's burial, Matthew was dressed in a baby blue gown with matching soft bottoms to cover his legs; he had crocheted brown booties on his feet and hands and a hat like them on his head. I wasn't sure if the women wanted to keep him warm or wanted to make him sweat. But I felt sure he stayed warm every time a cold breeze hit us.