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Chapter 38

Louis's pov

The moment I opened my eyes an overwhelming sensation of both joy and fear overtook me. This was the day; it was finally here. I was scared because of what could possibly happen to us if we were found out. What if Richard chased me? Richard needed me to make his money and gain popularity. Not to sound proud but, The Tomlinson Circus would be nothing without it's star act — me. At least, that's what I hear Richard tell his business partners. I'm sure he could find someone else who could pose on an elephant, but he apparently believes it's impossible. All I ever wanted was a normal life. A life where my mother hadn't died, my father wouldn't hit me, a life where I did not have to be a performer. But, I was not lucky enough, I want to give my children a normal life. I want them to actually go to school and get a proper education. Growing up I did not go to school, my mum taught me until she died and then Martha took over. It wasn't a lot of teaching but thanks to them, I can read, write, add, subtract, multiply, divide, and do a bit of grammar and that's enough for me.

Harry stirred beside me, his ridiculously long hair falling in his face. I gently swept it behind his ear and just admired him. This would be the last time I would wake up in this bed, wake up to the sound of train tracks beneath me, the last time I would have to perform. I felt like screaming in pure joy. "Harry." I kissed his nose, trying to wake him from his slumber. He groaned and covered his face with his arm. Rude. "Baby, you know what today is?" I gently shook him but he didn't seem to care. So, I got up and retrieved Matthew from his crib. Luckily, he was awake and already searching for one of us. When I came back I removed the covers from Harry's body leaving him in only his pants. I shook his back again, but he only groaned. So, I sat on his bum, straddling his waist and laid Matthew on his back. "Matthew, wake up Dada!" I laughed when all Matthew did was kiss all over the skin — and by kiss, I mean open mouth slobber and drool.

"Louis." He groaned, "What on earth are you doing?" He whined.

"It's not me." I laughed and bounced up and down softly, "Wake up!"

This time Harry didn't let out a frustrated groan, but it was more a moan of pleasure. "Louis, y-you're pressing me into the bed — ah! — stop it!"

"Oops!" I quickly picked Matthew up and got off of Harry, "Sorry." I smiled sympathetically.

"S'okay." He rolled over and breathed a bit, "Can I see Matthew?" I smiled and handed him to Harry then climbed in beside the two. "That was gross." Harry pouted at Matthew but Matthew smiled and squealed happily.

"Should've woken up the first time I said to." I smirked and kissed his bare shoulder. He pursed his lips and squinted his eyebrows at me. I just grinned and kissed his pouty lips which made Matthew laugh. When Matthew laughs it is physically impossible to be angry. So, Harry smiled too.

"I know what today is." He nodded his head and frowned a little.

"What's wrong?" I asked, placing an arm across his chest to pull him closer.

He shook his head and quirked the corner of his mouth, "I dunno," he said, "s'just nerves I guess." He shrugged his shoulders and kissed Matthew's head.

"You think we can pull it off?" I asked, feeling unsure.

"I definitely think we can get away. I'm just afraid they'll chase us." I could tell that Harry was just as scared as I was. I wished that I could fix it, but deep down I knew that we would have to carry that fear for the rest of our lives. "Louis, do you really want to throw your life away for me?" Harry asked, tears suddenly springing to his eyes.

"Wha—"

"Am I really worth it?" Tears were falling freely down his cheeks now. I felt speechless; I had no idea where this was coming from. "Louis, am I worth dying for? I'm not!" He reached for my face and pulled our foreheads together.