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Chapter 34

Do none of you want a sequel? :(

Louis's pov

I couldn't even concentrate during the show after Harry told me when we would finally be able to leave this Hell hole. I have wanted to run away ever since I was nine, but I was never brave enough. I wish I could just go into his office and quit, but I know he would never let me leave. He would do everything he could to keep me here because I was his money maker. Not to sound proud, but Rosie and I are the main act and everyone comes to see us. According to Richard, I was the star of the circus. I didn't want to be, I didn't want to be up front and show myself off because it made me nervous. I didn't start performing until I was thirteen, that's when I got my first horse Bella; I instantly clicked with Bella. She was a mustang who had been broken and trained by her previous owner, she had the most beautiful dark brown coat and long black mane. We performed together until I was seventeen. But, during one show, she tripped and broke her leg, braking my arm in the process. I would be fine in a month or two, but poor Bella wasn't so lucky. I cried for weeks after she was put down, but I understood she was suffering. I didn't want to let go of my best friend.

When my arm healed Richard bought another horse for me, her name was Gem. It was hard to adjust from Bella to Gem, but after a few weeks together Gem and I learned how to be a great team. She was a white Arabian horse with a medium length white mane. Gem and I could read each other, we knew what felt right and what didn't. That's why I am still gutted that I didn't take her out of the show when I felt like something was wrong. She was suffering just like Bella did so, I let Harry put her down. It seems bizarre that I have grown to love the man who killed my horse, but he had to and I knew he did.

And now I have Rosie. I was very weary when Richard got me an elephant instead of a horse. I was frightened because I had never worked with an elephant and I wasn't used to her slow movements. I was accustomed to my horses fast running and slimmer build. I basically saw Rosie as a fat slowpoke, but I have grown to love her. She is still slow, but she melts peoples hearts and makes them fall in love with her. Rosie and I have reached the point where we can communicate, after Harry taught me all the French commands that is. She and I have not quite gotten to the point of reading each other, but I couldn't love her more.

I am excited that Harry, Matthew, and I get to leave. But I don't want to leave all the people I have grown to love like Rosie, Martha, Liam, Zayn, and Niall. I never knew how great they were until Harry came along. Harry became Liam, Zayn, and Niall's friend and then I did too. I didn't want to leave anyone, but leaving the circus was more than just a want. Harry and I needed to get away for Matthew's and Jean's sake, I did not want this life for them. Matthew and Jean deserved an actual childhood, not one like mine. They deserved to live in a non-moving house with a white picket fence and a dog in the back yard. They deserved to go to school and learn about science, english, and maths unlike I got to. I wanted to give my children the best childhood I could offer them.

I decided to take Matthew with me that day so I was sitting on top of a blanket on the ground. Matthew was lying on his tummy, staining his neck to keep his head up. His little black curls shined in the soft glow from the sun. His little fingers dug into the blanket beneath us as he tried looking around. His baby blue onsie and trousers casted a pretty hue around him, seeming to make his curls more noticeable. I found it cute that Matthew's curls were bouncy and bunched around his face, just like Harry's were before his hair got long. In some ways, Matthew did look like Harry and I, but every time I looked in his eyes I saw Audrey staring back at me. Thinking of Audrey has gotten a little easier, sometimes I have my moments when I will just break down. I feel like it doesn't hurt as bad when something reminds me of her and I can't let it hurt because I see her in Matthew's eyes every day. And every time I look at Jean's picture it's the spitting image of Audrey.