Don't close your eyes - Woosan

Chapter 26

Wooyoung POV 

My eyes took longer then a few minutes to adjust to the bright surroundings, medical room? Why am I in here? What happened yesterday? I find my mind wandering to yesterday's events, I remember everything up to the afternoon, then I find my mind slamming up a mental wall, almost as if it is trying to prevent me from remembering something that shouldn't be remembered. 

Eventually my hand registers the warm heat coming from within and I turn my head cautiously to the side. San? The corners of my mouth involuntarily turn upwards into a small smile as I watch him sleeping peacefully, head resting against the bed I lay on. The only sounds that could be heard were his gentle breaths against the bed sheets.

Beautiful.

Before I could register what was happening my hand was reaching towards a stray strand of hair out of place compared to the rest. Before I had the chance to brush it back into place something caught my eye on his neck, a thin red line surrounded by purple bruises across his Adam's apple. A sinking feeling erupted in my stomach as one image flew across my vision, it was of me, probably yesterday afternoon, with a dagger to San's throat, drawing blood that spilled effortlessly down his neck. 

My hand retracted from San's at the speed of light and I stumbled clumsily off the other side of the bed. What did I do yesterday?  I could guess from the consistent pounding in my head that it wasn't good. 

I shakily stepped away from San into the hallway, heading directly towards the voices I could hear from the mission room, my mind temporarily felt disconnected from my body as I saw Hongjoong and Yunho's face's upon my entrance. Soon after I had stepped boldly into the middle of the room yet my voice broke as I spoke. 

"What did I do to San?"

Now no one met my gaze as they all stared into their laps or at the screen's in front. 

"Hongjoong? Yunho? Yeosang? Please, someone tell me what the hell happened before I go and.."

"Okay, just sit down first, it will be better to rip the bandage of in one go."

I did as Yunho asked, sitting wordlessly on the edge of the closest seat. And he explained everything that happened, right from the beginning, once he finished silence engulfed the room and the blood slowly poured from the nails digging violently into my clenched fists. 

I'm a liar, a pathetic back stabbing liar. I made a promise, one of the only ones I have ever made to the person I care about the most in this world and I broke it. 

He's never going to forgive me. I'm never going to forgive myself.

San POV 

I could hear the others speaking faintly from the mission room as I made my way down the corridor, however I couldn't quite make out exactly what they were saying. However, as I stepped into the room my guesses were they had just told Wooyoung what happened last night. I was right.

Everyone didn't go quiet when I entered, the room was already silent even before my foot stepped through the door. I attempted to gauge the mood by staring some people down, but no one even glanced my way as all their attention was focused on Wooyoung. 

"Wooyoung, your awake? How do you feel..." The end of my sentence trailed off as I noticed he too wouldn't lift his gaze to meet mine, this fact made the room around feel ten times colder and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end when I saw a familiar red liquid drip from his clenched fist onto the floor. 

"Blood." I spoke as I saw it before immediately striding towards Wooyoung, no hesitation in my moves as my hand instinctively reached out to inspect his injury. However, I did hesitate when he swiftly stood up, pushing the chair back to escape my touch.

Frozen on the spot only inches away from Wooyoung I felt his warm breath against my already slightly flushed face. "Wooyoung?" as I spoke his name my voice shook slightly and it came out more like a question then a command. I tried again, stepping forward and reaching my hand towards his. It was unsuccessful. Wooyoung stumbled back a step into the chair behind, allowing it to slide across the ground producing an eerie sound. I don't know when but at some point the others had quietly exited the room, leaving me and Wooyoung alone to face each other. 

Every move I had made to touch the other had been easily deflected and I found myself becoming more desperate by the second. "Wooyoung, if you won't let me near you, at least tell me why." 

This time he did look up, straight into my eyes and I saw something in them. Was it anger? Guilt? Pain? I really couldn't tell so found myself asking. "Wooyoung, what are you thinking?" 

Without so much as flinching he responded, "you don't want to know." 

"Yes I do."

"NO YOU DONT!" His voice echoed abruptly around the room and I flinched, since when does he shout. Honestly, I'm at a loss for words, my heart aches so profoundly I just can't put any sentences together in my head. 

Wooyoung's back hit the wall with a thud as I stepped forward for the last time, he could try to escape, Wooyoung's very fast. But so am I and he knew it. 

"If you tell me what your thinking I will let you leave." Even though I wanted nothing more right now then to feel the heat of his skin against mine I knew nothing could persuade him. After a momentary pause he agreed. 

"I'm sorry." 

"Is that it?"

No response. 

"I made a promise to you, and I broke it, without showing any kind of remorse whatsoever."

"You never broke any promise." I spoke, emphasising the you as a slight sense of desperation crept into my voice. "It wasn't you who hurt me, you would never hurt me."

"That's not true." Wooyoung responded bluntly, clearly shutting himself off from me as his eyes seemed to no longer be looking at me but through me. No, no he wouldn't, I don't believe that for a second. "Wooyoung, you know you were never in control of your body yesterday, right?" 

"I know, I'm not talking about then..." He quickly responded, trailing off at the end of his sentence, almost as if he was fighting against telling me something. 

After that statement had hung in the air for almost a minute it finally clicked, is he talking about his hallucination. "Wooyoung, what did you see at the White Blood clan." Something inside him seemed to snap when I spoke those words and I saw his eyes dart around the room in search of an escape. I raised my voice slightly, anger and pain all beginning to burn up inside me, "look at me." Still nothing. "I SAID LOOK AT ME FOR FUCK SAKE." 

He did. 

"Now answer my question." I could tell he saw the flame of anger burning in my eyes, and I could also tell that he only paid attention to the pain within those flames as he spoke.

"The gas doesn't create hallucinations out of nothing you know, it feeds off of all your darkest thoughts, bringing them to life, everything you see when you are passed out is just an amplification of those thoughts." I urged him to continue by shuffling even closer. "I-I did something to you San, something terrible I never thought I would even be possible of doing, but I did it." 

"What. What did you do to me Wooyoung. Just tell me okay."

He spoke with hesitation, disbelief in his voice at the remembrance of his own actions. 

"I killed you San."

This time it was my turn to step backwards, Wooyoung took that as his chance to escape, swiftly turning around me and out of the door. 

In that moment I made a decision, one of the most important decisions of my life. 

Whether I can trust Wooyoung. 

Its one of the only decisions I never even hesitated upon making. 

A/n 

I just wanted to say, I am so grateful to all those people who have taken their time to read what I have written and vote for it, it honestly means so much to me 💜💜💜

Remember, you nice, keep going!