the office oneshot🧚‍♀️ (jim halpert mostly)

the groupchat

michael: hey guys! i made a group chat for us :D
dwight: hello michael
jim: hey it's dwayne!
dwight: hi jimbo
stanley: stop this

stanley left the chat

michael: BOR-ING
pam: hey guys
jim: ITS PAM <3 <3
pam: JIM <3
toby: guys that's not really professional...
michael: SHUT UP TOBY YOURE JUST JEALOUS
toby: i hate my life
michael: then die!!
pam: michael...
oscar: michael that's not nice

toby left the chat

michael: finally! who even added him?
kelly: i don't know he's so lame :|
creed: does anyone wants drug?
meredith: ME PLEASE
creed: okay mary beth i'll buy you some!
angela: you are all going to hell
jim: yessir!
pam: i'll meet you there
ryan: i hate this job...

________________________________

michael: guys i just hooked up with jan!
jim: JAN YOUR BOSS??
michael: yes!!
pam: poor jan...
michael: why?
pam: cuz i saw your... and it's tiny af lmaooo
michael: ITS AVERAGE OK? i'm sure jim has a small pp too :(
pam: yeah jim has a micro-penis
jim: that is so not true
oscar: pam is such a savage lmao
kelly: oscar is right pam do you want to be my bestie?
pam: then we can talk about jim's small dick BAHAHAH
jim: i do not have a small dick :(
pam: you sure about that?
jim: well if it's tiny that's not what you said yesterday...
pam: what??
jim: you said, and i quote: "oh jim your so big! go faster i'm gonna cum!" if i'm not mistaken ;)
pam: AHHH SHUT UP
kevin: that's so hot :0
angela: whore
pam: fuck you angela you always hook up with dwight.
dwight: true...
angela: DWIGHT! that's not true
michael: shut up angela we all know it's true. and pam is a sexy woman and she has the right to show her body more if she wants to
pam: only to jim ;)
jim: pam come over right now
pam: coming
michael: THATS WHAT SHE SAID
kevin: hump her real good jim
jim: no comment
creed: which one is pam?
________________________________

michael: RYANNNN
ryan: what?
michael: are you gay?
ryan: no i'm 'dating' kelly remember?
michael: oh yes sorry
kelly: back off michael he's mine!
jim: wait is michael gay?
michael: NO! i'm a big strong man argh! i was just asking...
pam: i swear michael has a crush on ryan
________________________________

ryan: i hate my life
jim: join the club
pam: shut up jim you have a great life
jim: yeah because of you <3
pam: aww i love youuuu <3
michael: get a room already HAHAHAHAHA!
jim: shouldn't be a problem...
michael: yuck! tmi... is pam hot naked? no no no tmi! tell me later
jim: pam is always hot ;)
pam: you're not so bad either ;)
michael: thank you!
jim: michael i think she was talking about me..
michael: no jim i'm hotter than you
pam: ...
jim: yeah michael you're so hot ;o
michael: QUEER
jim: yeah
pam: WHAT?
michael: JIM IS GAY HAHAHAHAHAHAH
jim: calm down i'm not gay
pam: but you just said...
jim: i'm bi pam... i thought you knew already
pam: you never told me!
jim: well it doesn't matter...
michael: are you gonna date oscar?
jim: i'm still dating pam michael...
oscar: even if he wasn't we wouldn't date
jim: wow rude
oscar: not that i wouldn't date you but you wouldn't date me
jim: who says that...
pam: OSCAR AND JIM STOP FLIRTING WTF! he is my man
jim: i was joking princess <3
pam: now i'm insecure :( don't date oscar please...
jim: i won't i love you forever :) <3
pam: show me...
jim: i'm coming over right now ;)
dwight: you know you don't have to say it in that group chat every time you have sex?
pam: only happened 2 times...
dwight: its only been 2 days since this group exists! 2 times is more than enough
jim: we don't say it every time ;)
dwight: wow jim i underestimated your abilities
pam: i chose my baby well :D
jim: i'm so flattered...
pam: okay stop texting and come over now!
jim: okay bye
michael: bye queer halpert HAHAHAHAH
pam: i still can't believe it
oscar: it was pretty obvious...
pam: how?
oscar: he had a boyfriend when he first started here... remember mark?
pam: that was his roommate- OMG
oscar: yeah
pam: wow
michael: okay stop talking guys i'm going on with date with jan and i don't want to miss your conversation.
dwight: good luck michael!
michael: i don't need luck, i need date mike.
pam: no michael don't do your date mike character...
michael: why?
michael: pam?
kevin: jim must be at her home by now... i'm so horny
michael: okay now TMI for real
________________________________

meredith: can someone babysit my son?
pam: why? and i can if you want your son is so nice.
meredith: i'm going to an orgy ;)
pam: okay gross
meredith: prude
jim: she's not a prude... she's just not a nymphomaniac
meredith: shut up you guys are both virgins
jim: nope
pam: i can confirm we are indeed not virgins
meredith: okay i don't care will you babysit the kid?
pam: sure
________________________________

meredith: i'm never making pam babysit again
jim: what did she do?
meredith: jakey was in bed at 8:30 pm
pam: how is that a bad thing?
meredith: my son is not a loser! he can't go at bed this early or he'll become a nerd
pam: wtf okay?...
ryan: i can bring him in a club if you want?
meredith: YES that is a good idea
pam: he's 10...
meredith: i started going at 6 to go see my dad
pam: that's so sad :(
meredith: weirdo it was cool af
pam: i will never understand you
meredith: okay miss perfect
creed: so that's where i know you from!
meredith: probably
jim: wow that is so messed up.
angela: that explains so much
michael: meredith flashed me at christmas
jim: yeah you posted the picture...
michael: whoops.
pam: i swear this chat is cursed

________________________________

pam: GUYS THERES A VIRUS ON MY COMPUTER
jim: what did you do?
pam: thanks for assuming it's my fault
jim: it was your fault wasn't it?
pam: yes it was... i tried to download a video an now there's a virus
michael: i'll call the I.T guy
creed: that man looks like my old cult leader
oscar: what the hell?
jim: nothing creed do can surprise me anymore.
creed: thanks tall guy
jim: pam what was the video you downloaded?
pam: just a video
jim: what type?
pam: a celebrity sex tape...
meredith: did it work? if you have that i want it.
pam: no it didn't work that's why there's a virus
jim: who was it?
pam: not important
jim: how much did you pay for it
pam: not relevant
jim: YOU PAID?
pam: IT ALL HAPPENED SO FAST
michael: that's what she said!
michael: holy shit i just ran over meredith with my car!!
jim: WHAT?
michael: i'm taking her to the hospital
andy: what the hell?
dwight: did she reject you?
michael: it was an accident dwight
dwight: you sure?
michael: dwight you ignorant slut
dwight: well at least i don't have a tiny penis and i'm not a murderer.
michael: ITS AVERAGE OKAY??
________________________________

kelly: i'm sorry pam. but imagine if jim and dwight dated! that would be so cuteeeeee
jim: wtf?
dwight: jim is my mortal enemy and he couldn't have me in a thousand year
jim: but your saying there's a chance
dwight: shut up
pam: i know that we're dating but kelly i kinda understand what you mean lmao
jim: PAM!
pam: what? if we weren't dating i'd ship that...
jim: i'm gonna have to punish you if you keep saying things like that.
pam: kinky...
jim: just for you
pam: okay daddy ;)
kevin: WOAH
oscar: thats a little inappropriate don't you think?
kelly: ryan i wish we were this cute together...
ryan: i don't
meredith: hey jim and pam send us a video!
jim: okay one second...
jim:

meredith: ugh go to hell
pam: LMAOOO

________________________________

should i make a part 2 of this?