the office oneshot🧚‍♀️ (jim halpert mostly)

the bathroom (jim and dwight)

"oh that's so good baby!" jim moaned quietly, and he quickly bit his lips to make himself shut up. you couldn't blame him though, the sight that was in front of him wasn't helping him stay quiet. dwight's
mouth obscenely spread around his cock, as jim stroked his hair in an encouraging manner.

he may have been relatively quiet, but he definitely wasn't enough. you see, they were currently in poor richard's bathroom, all their friends having fun and drinking right outside the door. they had sneaked out of the party for a little make out session that quickly escalated in something more inappropriate. hopefully nobody knew they were there, as nobody knew they were together, but they had left discretely, so they were most likely fine.

michael looked around the room, looking for his two best friend, but he couldn't find them. he walked over to pam, sure she was going to know where jim was.

"hey spamster! do you have any idea where fat halpert is?" michael asked loudly to pam. "i need him to be my wingman" he added with a smirk, making pam roll her eyes.

"i think he's in the bathroom" she responded flatly. "but i doubt he'll want to be your wingman"

"he's my best friend, i'm sure he'll be happy to help me" michael frowned and walked away.

he walked through the crowd, looking for the bathroom, until he finally saw the door. he walked towards it and as he got closer he heard some weird noise coming from it. some sort of... moaning?

"mhm babe that's so good oh my gosh" jim moaned again, unaware that michael was right outside the door listening to him.

michael laughed quietly before he ran back to where pam was standing, next to angela and oscar.

"GUYS!" michael exclaimed out of breath. "jim is having sex with some girl in the bathroom!"

"no way" pam said sceptically. "he wouldn't do that with a stranger and jim doesn't have a girlfriend" she explained.

"that is disgusting" angela and oscar said in unison. "who would do that in public?" angela asked and oscar nodded in agreement.

"i'm telling you!" michael said. "come with me if you don't believe it!" he said and he walked towards the bathroom, the trio following him.

"see?" michael said as they stood before the door and were forced to realize jim was really in there with someone.

"i'm leaving, this is a disgrace! a sin, even" angela said dramatically and walked away.

"who do you think it is?" pam asked oscar and he shrugged.

"we just have to wait and see when they get out" michael said and oscar agreed.

"no... don't you think it's weird to stay there and listen to them?" pam said. "we should at least go a little further" she said.

"yeah she's right, i don't wanna hear that" oscar said and him and pam walked away, quickly followed by michael.

***

"that was so good" jim said before he kissed dwight.

"i love you" dwight mumbled against his lips and jim blushed.

"i love you too" he said softly. they both put their clothes back on before they got out of the bathroom, still unaware anybody had heard them.

jim opened the door and saw michael, oscar and pam, waiting a couple of feet away from the bathroom. he froze.

"what are you doing?" dwight asked as he walked past jim, only to stop when he saw the shocked face of the three people in front of them.

"hey guys" jim said awkwardly.

"holy shit" oscar whispered, pam looked at jim speechlessly.

he was dating dwight and hadn't even told her. hell, she didn't even know he was into men.

"oh, well, guys i was wrong jim wasn't having sex, he was just with dwight" michael said, deceived there wasn't any tea for him to spill. damn that man was clueless. nobody said anything to him, so he just walked away.

jim looked at dwight worriedly, and dwight looked down shamefully.

"when were you gonna tell me?" pam asked. she felt bad he had never felt comfortable enough to tell her.

"i- i dont know... soon i guess, i didn't want to rush dwight" jim explained and pam nodded.

"umm you guys are dating?" oscar asked and jim and dwight nodded. "wow, congrats!" he said.

"thanks" dwight said. the whole situation was just so awkward.

"so... i'm guessing you heard everything" jim said and immediately regretted it.

"not everything but way more than i wish i had heard" pam said and jim laughed.

"yeah... this is really awkward" dwight said. "why don't we just leave?" he asked jim.

"yeah i think we should leave" jim said.

"you better call me tonight to explain how did that happen" pam said and jim nodded to her as he walked away.

"i can't believe it" oscar said. "and michael? is he really that stupid?"

"yeah he is. he definitely is. he heard them do... whatever they were doing, and still didn't understand" pam said and she laughed.

michael saw jim and dwight leave together.
"man what were they doing in the bathroom?" he wondered. "maybe they were fighting, i hope they made up" he thought.

...